


A Long Way Home

by tv_addict007



Series: Home Is Where The Heart Is [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Assassine!Clarke, Bad Ass Lexa, Clexa, Commander!Lexa, Death, F/F, F/M, Governor Jaha, Slow Burn, Special Task Force, Torture, Violence, bad ass clarke, more tags to be added later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-10-09 15:11:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tv_addict007/pseuds/tv_addict007
Summary: It should bother her that after dreaming of becoming a doctor her fingers move with such an ease to take a life. That death came so naturally.ORClarke never thought that she'd become an assassine. But many wrong decisions led to her current life. She was lost in a sea of darkness trying to find a way back to the light. But she was one of the bad guys now. And the bad guys never get a happy ending, do they?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea just as long as I had the idea for Natblida. Maybe even a little longer. Back then I decided to post Natblida. Now I decided to put this one out, too. The first chapter isn't much, just a little prologue. Hope you'll like it though.
> 
> There will be mentions of a gun in the prologue just as there will be some deaths.

**Prologue**

Clarke smiled as she looked out of the kitchen window, loving the rays of sunshine warming her face and she closed her eyes contently for a moment while she opened a pack of popcorn. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and her mood further improved when she thought about the game she’ll watch with her dad and the Jaha’s. The only thing that would make this day absolutely perfect would be her mother’s presence with them, but she respected her mother’s work. As a doctor, her mother had a difficult work load. Maybe her mother would be back later and watch with them the end of the game.

Another great thing was that the next week would be the last school week before the break. Clarke had already made plans with her friends and she was really looking forward to spending as much time as she could with them. Also, the blonde girl would work a few hours in the hospital her mother worked in, but that was nothing new. It was almost a little tradition for Clarke to work at the hospital during school break, the staff knew her since she was little.

Clarke herself thought of it as some sort of training, seeing that she wanted to become a doctor like her mom. She loved spending time at the hospital, had spent quite some time there. Some of the doctors and nurses where already joking around, telling everyone that she’ll be their future colleague.

“Do you have the popcorn, Princess?” Clarke heard her dad call out from the living room, tearing her out of her blissful state and emptying the pack into a huge glass bowl.

“Already on the way.”

She took the bowl and made her way out of the kitchen and into the living room as she heard a knock on the front door, her smile growing. “I’ll get that, Dad.”

“Thanks.”

Making her way towards the door, Clarke opened it and beamed at her best friend Wells Jaha. Wells had been her best friend since they were toddlers. Their parents knew each other from school and never lost contact. They lived in the same neighborhood, but that was rather a coincident than anything else, though no one really minded it.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Wells replied and smiled at her, lifting a pack of popcorn.

“We already have popcorn waiting for us in the living room.”

Wells shrugged. “Then think of this as back-up popcorn. Wouldn’t want us to high and dry at the end of the game.”

“Good thinking.” She chuckled and moved to the side to let her friend enter the house. “Where’s your dad?”

He sighed. “Got called into work.”

Lieutenant Governor Thelonious Jaha was usually a very busy man, though always found time for his son, especially after the death of his wife and mother of his son four years ago. However, now and then it happened that he was called into work without further notice. He still tried to spend as much time with his on as he could.

“That sucks. My mom had to go to the hospital, too.”

“Well, maybe we should think positive.” He smiled again, his eyes shining mischievously. “More popcorn for us.”

Clarke chuckled at his reply and followed him to the living room where Jake already had turned on the TV, listening to the comment of the stadium announcer.

“Hey, Jake.”

“Hi, Wells. Ready for a great game Sunday?”

“Absolutely.” Wells smiled and took a seat on the couch, his eyes already plastered on the screen knowing the game would be on any second now.

Clarke moved to the other side of her dad and sat down, pushing the bowl of popcorn to the middle of the table so that everyone could reach it easily. Jake smiled and wiggled his brows, apparently happy that the bowl was standing directly in front of him and Clarke just shook her head at his antics.

It was shortly after the halftime when they heard the front door open and close again.

“Looks like your mom is finally back home, Princess.” Jake smiled and bumped his shoulder slightly against his daughter’s while keeping his eyes firmly on the screen.

“Hey, Mom!” The blonde called out, but the game was too exciting and opted to stay put instead of greeting her mother. Abby already knew how her family was while watching a game and Clarke knew that she didn’t mind their behavior. Clarke had often seen her mother shake her head smiling, eyes dancing while glancing to her family now and then.

The blonde’s greeting went unanswered and Clarke left her little bubble she was in, getting up to see where her mom was. Maybe one of her patients died and she wasn’t in the mood for the game. Though even when her day was a bad one, the blonde woman had always answered her daughter’s greeting when she came home.

She made her way to the entrance and turned the corner to face the hall leading to the front door when she suddenly stopped and widened her eyes, looking surprised and confused at the person standing in their house.

It wasn’t her mother.

It was a man.

A man with cold and dead eyes, clothed completely in black and his stare caused a cold shutter running through her body. He had a stubble covering his chin and cheeks, and his brown hair was combed carefully backwards. There was a long scar on the right side of his face. She noticed the man’s black leather gloves, though the day was definitely too hot for them. There was something about this man that made her uneasy. How did he even enter the house? Hadn’t she closed the door earlier?

“I’m sorry, but who…” Clarke started but got cut off by the man whom rose his right arm and only then did she notice that he was holding a gun in his hand. The girl went immediately into action, searching for cover while opening her mouth to call out to her dad and Wells, but the man was faster.

All she heard was a dull shot, the noise being covered by a silencer and the next thing she felt was a piercing pain in her chest. Clarke lost her footing and went down like a sack of potatoes while she desperately gasped for air. The man ignored her completely and climb past her towards the living room.

The two male must have heard her fall because she heard footsteps coming into her direction. “Clarke?”

Her dad rounded the corner and took in the scene in front of her, an armed man and his daughter lying bleeding on the ground. “Clarke!”

The man aimed his gun at Jake and shot, Jake’s body crashing down like Clarke’s did. The blonde let out a silent scream, tears welled up in her eyes as she stared into the dead eyes of her father’s. This couldn’t be happening. Her dad couldn’t be dead. No, this was all just a dream. She was still standing in the kitchen enjoying the sun on her face.

Clarke crawled over to her dad, her hands seeking out her father’s body. He wasn’t breathing, his heart stopped working. Tears were streaming down uncontrollable.

She looked up and saw Wells swinging a lamp at the intruder, but he wasn’t fazed by this. He aimed his damn gun again and shot Wells several times.

“No!” Clarke screamed and tried to get up. To do _something_.

But her legs failed her and she stumbled down again.

This brought the man’s attention back towards her. He calmly made his way back to her, kneeling down while looking emotionless at the blonde girl. The tears blurred her sight and her heart hammered wildly in her chest, certain that it wouldn’t beat for much longer.

Though the next thing she saw was the man widening his eyes slightly in surprise as voices could be hear outside the house. He quickly stood.

The front door opened.

The man hurried away the other way.

Clarke head her mother’s voice, speaking to someone.

Her eyes got heavier, closing them just as she heard her mother cry out her name in panic.

The last thing she remembered was the damn sun shining on her face, reminding her of her earlier thought that this was one of the better days.

But it wasn’t.

It will forever be one of the darkest in her life.

And the sunrays were mocking her.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the positive response. I hope you'll like this one, too.
> 
> Warning, there will be torture in this chapter.

**Chapter 1**

_Several years later_

The sun shone merciless onto her skin, the heat driving her crazy and her clothes were clinging to her body. Her body ached, her lips were chapped and her throat longed for some water. Any movement hurt, and as much as she wanted to escape this hell, she couldn’t.

This was one of dozens of days Clarke had spent in this room, if it could even be called like that. It was more of a barn with nothing in it but the hard, stony ground. There was a little window high above on one of the walls, inviting in the biting sun with its heat.

The nights weren’t that much better, the room never really cooled down enough to be called comfortable. Clarke had lost track of the days she had spent in this place but if she had to guess, it surely had been two months.

Two months waiting for her impending death.

But she guessed she deserved it. All of it.

Clarke had no idea where everything had went downhill. No, that’d be a lie. The blonde knew exactly when everything had collapsed, changing her life forever. The day her dad and her best friend had been killed in front of her eyes, she herself had barely survived. They had told her that. They had told her that if her mother hadn’t found her exactly at this moment, she wouldn’t have survived with the amount of blood she had lost.

Clarke hadn’t needed doctors to tell her that she wouldn’t have survived without her mom. She was sure that if her mom wouldn’t have come home and surprised the killer, he would’ve made sure of her death. Just to be on the safe side.

She never really forgot his face.

His face was still haunting her in her dreams, taunting her. She had tried, all those years. She had never been able to find him.

He was an assassin.

He was a ghost.

And now she was one, too.

It had caught her off-guard, this spiral leading her onto the same path the killer was walking. She started making wrong decisions, spending time with bad people. Though she always told herself that it was necessary, all of it. She had to find him. And to find him, Clarke had to become like him, pacing the same circles he was.

She went down the rabbit hole driven by revenge selling a part of her soul with every life she took.

Although she was by definition an assassin Clarke saw herself as one of the nicer ones, targeting corrupt people, killers, terrorists and other bad people. Just like her latest target. The CIA had talked her into accepting the mission, accepting to make the kill. Though if asked, the CIA didn’t know her and had never had anything to do with her.

However the blonde had to admit that she had been at fault for the deaths of many civilians and innocent people. There was a reason why assassins were hunted by the law authorities. They _were_ murderer, monsters. They took people from their loved ones, ending lives.

Just like she did.

Clarke had never thought it to be easy to take a life, but after ten years of being an assassin it was quite easy. There were so many ways to kill someone. Loud or silent, messy or neatly, quick or slow. Her life had certainly led her to some interesting places all around the world, knew shady places and luxurious ones, had picked up different traditions and learnt a lot about the different cultures and languages.

That was how her life looked now. Now her eyes were also dead, just like the ones of the killer of her dad and Wells. She had seen too much, her innocence gone only leaving a shallow self.

Clarke knew she wouldn’t get out of here again, that this was the place she will find her _own_ death. But maybe she had died a long time ago. Clarke Griffin didn’t exist anymore, lost in all the different identities she had used over the years.

Did she even herself know who she was anymore?

She briefly wondered if her mom would ever get informed of what had happened to her, or if she will forever keep wondering where her daughter was and if she was dead or alive. Clarke hadn’t seen her in the last nine years. She told herself that it was to protect both of them. For one she knew that her mom would break down all of her carefully built walls in an instant, leaving her raw and a broken shell of the joyful and lively girl she had been.

The other reason was her worry that something would happen to her mother because of their connection. Clarke had made a lot of enemies during these years, all of them probably searching for a way to draw her out, to hurt her.

Abigail Griffin wasn’t even aware of her daughter’s occupation as an assassin, knew for certain that Thelonious Jaha used his influence to keep the woman away from the hard and horrible truth and Clarke was thankful for the man’s actions to prevent the destruction of her mother’s image of her little daughter. The woman had lost everything, her husband dead and her daughter missing. She didn’t need to feel ashamed and responsible for all the death her daughter had caused.

No, that was all on her.

However just because her mother didn’t know about her daughter’s life didn’t mean Clarke didn’t know about her mother’s. As much as she had tried to sever all ties to her old life, she still had contact to two people.

She had met Jaha a few times during the past few years, though rather unintentionally on her part. The man constantly tried to get her to return home, to come back and resume her life. Clarke didn’t know what he wanted to accomplish by that, seeing that she was a killer and the police and some agencies were looking for her. She couldn’t just go back and resume the life of a young woman whom wanted to be a doctor and help people. And maybe, maybe she was ashamed to go home to her mother, knowing that the woman would be horrified and disappointed in her.

Maybe she was afraid that her mother would resent her. That she would hate her.

The other person she had contact to was Dr. Nyko Adler. She knew the man since she was little and he was a close colleague of her mother. She often phoned with him, keeping him informed of her status and keep taps on her mother. It wasn’t ideal, Nyko also tried to get her to come back, but he understood that she couldn’t and he rather accepted the fact and keep talking to her on the phone instead of cutting the contact altogether.

Clarke wondered if he was worried by the lack of contact the last few weeks. But it wasn’t like he could do anything about it, couldn’t go to the police.

Voices outside the barn drew her attention towards the door, already resigning herself to the fact that they wanted to play twenty questions again, albeit a more cruel and one-sided version of the game. They had a few sessions in the past but if one thing hadn’t changed over the years it was her stubbornness. Besides Clarke was too proud to tell them anything. She’d die either way and while she couldn’t change this fact, she sure as hell wouldn’t make it easy for them.

She’ll go down.

Here.

Probably sooner than later.

But she won’t go down without a fight.

Two men retrieved her, speaking Arabic. Clarke understood them perfectly and as much has she had wanted to make them believe she didn’t speak their language she knew that they suspected otherwise.

The walk to the room the questioning will be taking place was like any other one she had in the past, hands tied tightly together and her eyes covered by the bag over her head. They were always cautious, never once underestimating her.

The reason for this laid probably in the graves of all the people she had killed of this camp before they had been able to capture her.

She was usually better than this, didn’t make mistakes that could lead to her imprisonment. But her information had been wrong and one thing led to the other and she cursed the CIA for making her accept. Once again she learnt not to trust anyone.

Now she had to suffer for her carelessness.

Clarke was being shoved violently on her knees, the bag over her head disappeared. She was kneeling in front of a big bucket filled with water. A man stood in front of her, the same one whom always questioned her while the two men who had brought her here took place behind her.

The blonde stared challenging at the man in front of her, raising a brow while a humorless smile placed itself on her lips. “Just so you know, I’m going to enjoy this one. Finally some water. You really have to work on your hospitality.”

It didn’t take long for the fist to connect with her cheek, and her head whipped back with the expected hit. She had to admit that she literally had been asking for that one. But she was used to them by now, almost bored by them.

“You are eventually going to tell me what I want to now. They all do.” The man spoke with a strong accent. “Who sent you?”

Clarke kept staring at him and after a few seconds of silence one of the two men grabbed her neck and pushed her head into the water. She stubbornly tried to hold onto the air in her lungs, but she couldn’t help the tiny bubbles of oxygen leaving her body.

After what felt like minutes but had really been just seconds her head was being pulled back out of the water and she couldn’t help but suck in as much air as she could, coughing a little. “Who sent you?!”

“Thanks for the hair wash. I was in dire need of one.”

Her head was pushed back into the bucket. This time a little longer than before.

“I have been very patient with you. But even my patience has its end.”

“Do you want me to commend me on your high patience rate?” She replied cockily.

And back into the water.

“Who are you?”

“Your worst nightmare.”

Her head went down again. This time they kept her down and after some time she seriously got trouble keeping the water out of her lungs. The air in her lungs got less and less and they began to burn, but the man kept a firm hold on her forcing her to stay in the water. Her instincts kicked in and started to thrash around. Just as she thought that the man’s patience finally came to an end and was about to kill her, her head was pulled back out of the water again.

Clarke gasped as she looked at the angry eyes of her interrogator. It wouldn’t be long before he would snap.

“Tell me!” He yelled at her.

Her response was immediate, her voice raspy. “Go to hell!”

And just like she had guessed, after days and days of interrogation the man finally snapped pulling out a gun aiming at her head while Clarke kept staring into the man’s eyes, daring him to shoot her. Maybe she’ll finally be released from her hell and she almost longed for the nothingness of death to swallow her. To end her miserable life.

The staring match went on, a battle of wills.

No one muttered a word and silence took over.

Few seconds, not more and not less, a shot was breaking the silence and Clarke widened startling her eyes. Her heart beat wildly, but there was nothing. No pain. Nothing that indicated that the man had fired the gun.

Surprised, the blonde watched the man in front of her slumping down on the ground. Only then did she notice the yelling and the gunshots all around the place. A strong hand forced her down, making her lay flat on the ground.

“Alpha Team to Home Base. Place is secured and target has been located. Ordered retreat in two minutes.” Clarke heard a man next to he speak and she rolled her eyes. Clearly Americans.

The man pulled her up again and lifted her up, carrying her out of the room. A few more men joined them on their way out of the camp, moving to a place just outside it. The noise of an oncoming helicopter could be heard and Clarke wondered once again how much luck she actually had.

Once again she had cheated death.

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kind words and the kudos. It means a lot to me!
> 
> Enjoy the update!

**Chapter 2**

Clarke silently slipped out of bed inhaling sharply when she landed on her feet a little too hard. But the blonde continued on ignoring the pain that shot through her body. She had been worse, her wounds were already healing pretty nicely. Soon they’d become a distant memory.

She went over to the wardrobe and grabbed some clothes to wear. She had spent the last three days in this hospital. That were three days too long in her opinion and she was ready to leave, with or without the consent of her doctor.

Clarke wasn’t even sure why she was in a hospital instead of a holding cell. There weren’t even police officers standing guard outside of her room. She knew for sure that Jaha was the one responsible for her rescue, had gotten that little bit of information from her attending doctor, Dr. Marcus Kane.

Dr. Kane was another puzzle piece which she had no idea how it fit into the whole picture. He had been flown in by Jaha for her treatment, Clarke herself being his only patient in this hospital, maybe even in this whole state. He addressed her with her real name, a name she didn’t hear a lot nowadays due to her many identities, however she was listed as Clarice Whitfield in her hospital chart. He had been patient with her, had ignored her annoyance and determination to leave the hospital despite not being able to walk just yet.

The blonde pulled off the hospital gown and slowly pulled on the clothes she had found in the wardrobe. She hesitated briefly when she caught sight of her healing wounds. Some of them would definitely join her ever growing collection of scars, though it didn’t affect her much. There was only one scar that was still able to let her breath be caught in her throat and her heart beat faster.

Her first one.

The one she received on that fateful day.

The one starting this whole mess she was calling life.

Clarke shook her head and pulled the shirt down covering her scars. Next she put on a hoody, pulling the hood over her head to hide her blonde hair. They were a dead giveaway. She couldn’t stay longer, needed to disappear again before the police would arrive.

She carefully opened the door and peeked out to the hallway. The sun hadn’t risen yet, most patients were still sleeping and the day shift not at work yet meaning that there weren’t a lot of nurses running around.

Slipping through the door Clarke silently made her way down the hall towards the stairs, hands in her pockets and her wounds pulling uncomfortable with every step.

The stairs were the worst, her pace distinctly slowed down. Only her stubbornness was keeping her going on. She had already made it this far she’d also manage the rest of the way. Clarke was already trying to imagine Dr. Kane’s reaction upon finding his patient gone but there was something that made her guess that he knew that they’d end up with this situation.

The woman sighed relieved when she arrived at the bottom of the stairs, breathing heavily before opening the door that led into another hallway. The entrance hall was just a few feet away but she knew that there were at least a few people standing around, one or two nurses should be at the front desk. As Clarke glanced around the corner she saw two nurses and one doctor standing at the desk conversing quietly. However, they were too far away from her and her path to the doors, two of them keeping their backs to her. If she’d move fast and silent she could make it.

Acting quickly Clarke walked towards the door keeping one eye on the three hospital employees and the other one on the exit. Five steps until she’d be out of the hospital. Four, three, two. Clarke hissed when she pushed against the doors leading out of the building and immediately breathed in the fresh albeit cool air. It felt good to be outside again away from the bright white of the walls and the sterile smelling air.

Clarke made her way away from the hospital, her feet dragging her slowly over the pavement. There weren’t many people around and she kept her head down to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

“Already leaving?”

The blonde woman startled at the sudden voice behind her, tensing at the familiarity of it. Of course _he_ ’d be the one catching her on her attempted escape from the hospital. She mused if he had waited around the corner knowing that she’d be trying to disappear like that sooner or later.

Clarke squared her shoulders and turned to face the man, his face reminding her of her best friend that had been taken from life all too soon. The woman briefly thought how Wells’ life would have proceeded if he hadn’t been killed all those years ago. Would he have followed his father’s steps into politics? Or maybe he would have followed his dreams and become an engineer?

She guessed she’ll never know.

“I’ve told Dr. Kane I’d be gone as soon as I could walk on my own again.”

Jaha sighed. “Not even the cuts on your face are healed yet, Clarke.”

“They’ll be healed in no time, whether I stay in the hospital or not. All of my wounds will.”

“So, what? You’re running again?” Jaha got closer to her yet kept a certain distance.

The blonde scoffed. “Don’t know if you remember, but I’m a wanted assassin. Many authorities are searching for me. Not a lot of options there.”

“Maybe I could give you one.”

For a few seconds Clarke stared eagerly at Jaha ready to listen to this solution he wanted to present to her, but she quickly schooled her expression again, the hope dying down. Hope was something she couldn’t entertain. There was no hope for her. She chose this life, now she had to live with the consequences. This life would either end for her in jail or with her death. “No, thanks. I’ll pass.”

“I have a job for you. An open position on a new task force I’m establishing.”

“Like I said, not interested.” She shrugged and turned around again, ready to leave Jaha standing there while she would disappear in the darkness of the night.

“Don’t you get tired of running?” He spoke louder now and his words made her stop again. Of course she was tired, but life wasn’t a picnic. Not everyone was able to fulfill his wishes and dreams.

Jaha seemed to notice her hesitation and continued, hoping he’d get through to her. “I can give you something you’ve been missing all those years.”

“And what would that be?”

“A home.”

_Home._

It was just one word. But this little four letter word meant so much. Home, a place she belonged to. A place she could feel safe and protected. She hadn’t had such a place since Wells and her father had been killed and she had decided to go down the rabbit hole in her search for revenge. “A fixed address, a nicely furnished apartment and a job isn’t a home.”

“No, but a good starting place, don’t you think?”

Clarke kept silent, deep in thoughts while Jaha kept staring at her. At least he got her thinking. He fished a business card out of his pocket and held it out for Clarke to take it. She skeptically glanced at Jaha before her fingers curled around the card, taking it and letting it disappear into her own pockets.

Jaha sighed again, knowing that there was nothing more he could do. The ball was in her court now. But there was something else that bugged him and he knew that it would push the woman again. “You should visit your mother. She misses you.”

Clarke’s eyes flickered up to Jaha’s, his soft exclamation pulling at her heart. She was missing her mother, too. But then she imagined the disappointment in her daughter if she’d know about her life and Clarke immediately felt ashamed. “She misses her little princess. Her little golden star. That person died a long time ago. Doubt she’ll be ecstatic of what I’ve become.”

With that Clarke turned around, intending to not stop again. It was time to leave. Jaha had wanted to talk and she had listened. There was nothing more she was willing to offer the man. As she walked her fingers kept a firm grip on the business card Jaha had given her and she couldn’t avoid her heart fluttering with hope again.

* * *

Dr. Marcus Kane was out of breath. He had searched every room, every level for his missing patient. He cursed under his breath, should’ve known that it would come to this. He had been warned of her background after all.

The doctor just arrived at the front desk ready to have the hospital security search for the female escapee when he saw a familiar person entering the hospital. Kane faced his best friend Thelonious Jaha, the defeat clear on his face. He had failed his friend. His friend who had specially requested for him to tend to Clarke Griffin, all the way knowing how uncomfortable it would make him treating the missing daughter of Abby.

Abby who still didn’t know a thing about her daughter. If she’d know that he had seen her, spoken to her and that their best friend Thelonious apparently knew a lot more about the young blonde woman,…well, hell would probably feel like a relaxing vacation.

“She’s gone.”

“I know.” Kane’s head shot up and his eyes widened in surprise. “I ran into her outside.”

“She shouldn’t be moving around yet. She’s still recovering.”

“We’d be fools to believe we could make her stay.” Jaha replied somber.

Kane put his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. “Did you talk to her? About your idea?” Jaha nodded. Well at least the blonde didn’t just vanish again without having talked to Jaha. “Are you sure she’ll fit?”

“She has great skills. Skills enhancing the task force.”

The doctor shook his head. “I don’t like lying to Abby.”

Jaha turned his head back to his friend. “What did you tell her?”

“The truth, of course.” Jaha stared alarmed at Kane about to remind him of his promise not to tell Abby anything when Kane continued. “I told her that someone requested my expertise on a patient.”

Sighing, Jaha nodded relieved. “As much as we want to interfere, Clarke has to decide on her own to go and see Abby. We just have to hope that she’ll finally come back home.”

* * *

Lexa Woods glanced boringly around the room, sitting on a comfy office chair in a big conference room while waiting for the other involved parties to arrive. She had been early, had made always a point to be early. So far, she was the only one feeling the need of punctuality.

The brunette had gotten an offer to be part of a new task force established by the governor, Thelonious Jaha. She had taken quite some time to come to a decision. Lexa loved her job as a commander in the US Navy, but she was missing her family dearly, especially her little brother.

Aden was her little ray of sunshine, her little bubble of energy. She had missed the first eight years of his life, only seeing him once and then when she was home visiting her family. But the girl had always made a point of writing letters to him, keeping in contact as much as she could with her brother. And when she was home, they normally were inseparable.

Her brother was the main reason for accepting the position of the leader of this new task force. Another reason was her longing for a normal lifestyle, a place where she can come home to every day, friends she could see more often than once in a blue moon and maybe even finding someone to share her life with.

Her last relationships had always suffered by her constant absence, not that she blamed them for breaking it off with her. Lexa had learnt the hard way that long-distance relationships were hard to maintain, or at least it was for her.

Maybe a job change was the right thing for her. Aden had been ecstatic when she had told him that she’ll move permanently back to Polis, as was the rest of her family. They were proud of her and of her achievements, but they were happy to have their daughter back home. They were always worried for her.

The door opened and a man and a woman entered, both engaged in a conversation.

The man was tall, bald head and a five o’clock shadow was gracing his face. He had a darker skin tone and was obviously well-conditioned. He wore black trousers and a grey shirt, the beginnings of a tattoo could be seen on his right upper arm. By the way he was holding himself up Lexa guessed him to be of military origin.

The woman had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail, brown eyes and an easy smile. She was smaller than the man, but she didn’t appear to be intimidated by his height. She held herself up like the man, though Lexa was able to see that she wasn’t coming from the military.

Lexa got up and smiled at the, welcoming them. “Hi, Commander Lexa Woods. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all ours.” The man replied kindly with a smile of his own. “I’m Lincoln Black, Second Lieutenant of USMC.”

“Wow, I didn’t think that there were that many titles involved with this task force.” The woman replied matter-of-factly. “I’m Raven Reyes, just Raven Reyes. I’ve several degrees in mechanical engineering and computer forensics.”

“That makes you more important than any title could.” Lexa smiled.

“But a title would be cool. Second Lieutenant Raven Reyes, _Commander_ Raven Reyes. Damn, I took the wrong career.”

Lincoln and Lexa shook their heads, amused by Raven’s antics. It was clear that Raven seemed to be an easy-going and joyful human being, but then again, the woman probably hadn’t seen the same horrors like Lincoln and her due to their jobs. Lexa hoped that Raven would never lose her positive personality.

It didn’t take long and they were quickly joint by the rest of their future colleague’s.

A young Asian man with black hair and a smart personality. Monty Green was – like Raven – great with computers. He had been arrested for hacking into several government systems, just because he wanted too. He would’ve faced jail if the governor hadn’t offered him this position on the task force. His skills were too good to let them go to waste and Monty was just some bored student, studying computer science.

Another woman entered alongside the Asian man. She had dark long dark brown hair and her eyes are a mix of green and blue. Just like Raven, Octavia Blake was of average height. Octavia was a former CIA field agent, searching for another job which didn’t involve so much traveling seeing that her brother was living in Polis with his wife, Gina, of one and a half years, expecting their first child. Octavia was ecstatic to become an aunt.

Sergeant Ryder Forrester, a tall and very muscular brown haired man from the Polis PD’s Counter Terrorism Unit, and Homicide Detective Anya Adams, a dirty-blonde woman who Lexa knew from school arrived with Blake and Green. It didn’t take long after that when a tall and lanky black haired man followed the foursome into the room. Dr. Eric Jackson was supposed to take over their forensics and would work closely with the pathology.

That made a total of seven members of the destined new task force. Lexa knew that the team will be consisting of eight members and herself as the team leader and the brunette glanced back down to her watch, slightly irritated by the tardiness of the last member. She didn’t have a name or a description. She had nothing of the missing last member, not one detail that could tell her something about them and Lexa didn’t like it.

Lexa had studied all files of each member, already planning the positions they’d each fill, contemplating how to use their skills best. She was quite satisfied with the choice and was looking forward to work with those people standing in front of her.

The door opened again and Lexa turned around expecting to meet the last team member, but noticed that it was Governor Jaha who had entered the room. The conversations died down instantly.

“I apologize. My flight got delayed.” Governor Jaha explained and motioned everyone to take a seat. “I hope you used the time to get to know each other a little.”

“May I ask a question, Sir?”

“You may, Commander.”

“Didn’t you say that the team would consist of nine members? Where _is_ number nine?” Lexa asked, hoping that number nine wouldn’t be trouble for the team.

“The last member is already on the way.” Jaha confirmed. At least he hoped that this was the fact. After two days he had yet to receive a call from the blonde. Shaking off any thought about the troublesome woman, Jaha looked back to the people sitting in front of him. “Let’s discuss this task force.”

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great comments. I'm glad you like it so far :)

**Chapter 3**

Rain pattered down onto the hood and windshield, the darkness and the rain hiding the black car parking at the curb. The rain drops made it difficult to see clearly through the window but Clarke was still able to see enough.

She had spent the last hour in this position, sitting in her parked car glancing out of the window while listening to the comforting sound of the rain dropping onto her car. Her gaze had not once strayed from the suburban house with the green front yard surrounded by colorful flower beds. The two-story house was painted in a soft brown with white frames, a porch swing stood on the right side of the yard inviting in for peaceful summer nights under the stars.

Clarke had followed the light since she had arrived. First the light had been on in the kitchen and she imagined the little countertop covered by different ingredients for dinner, the sound of cutting down vegetables and the smell of the cooking.

Twenty minutes later the light had gone out, her eyes flickered to the room next to the kitchen in which the light had turned on as soon as the other went out. This time she imagined the person sitting on a normal sized table, the seats on the right and the left side empty and soft music filling the room.

For a brief second Clarke’s eyes flickered up to the room she knew by heart, on the right side at the second level of the house.

The house she had grown up in.

The house that harbored so many happy memories.

The one house in which her father and Wells had died in.

Clarke hadn’t known where to go after she had left Jaha and the hospital, she could’ve gone anywhere, yet her feet had somehow dragged her here, dragged her to the place her downhill spiral had begun. The blonde had ached to see her mother again after such a long time, only getting updates from Nyko once and then, but something was stopping her from walking up to the house and knock on the door.

It had been so long. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say to her mother, knew for certain that she’d feel ashamed of what she had become, making her feel unworthy of being in the presence of her mother. Her mother who was a successful doctor.

Abby Griffin, the woman who saved lives and Clarke Griffin, the woman who took lives.

No, Clarke wouldn’t enter that house, too content to just sit there. Outside in her car, looking in. Mourning all the _what-if_ ’s and cursing the brokenness of the world.

Her breath caught in her throat when her mother looked out of the dining room window and her heart beat hard in fear of having been discovered. Though it was already rather late in the evening, the car was parked under a broken street lamp and the bad weather was doing everything else in covering her presence, Clarke didn’t dare to move.

Her mother looked the same like last time, one or two lines grazing her face. Her dark blonde hair framed her face protectively. Clarke saw her mother’s shoulders sack and her eyes closing almost in defeat.

The blonde watched how the older Griffin moved away from the window, the light going out seconds after. She waited a moment until she noticed a light on the second floor going on, the bedroom of her parents. Around ten minutes later Clarke saw the light going out and she knew that her mother was now safely tucked in her bed, getting as much rest as she could before dawn would announce the next day.

Clarke’s eyes finally left the house, making their way over to the business car lying on dashboard. She couldn’t believe that she was seriously considering calling the number on it.

But maybe it was time to stop running. She had been running for so many years now, travelling from place to place, never having been staying long enough to catch her breath. To enjoy her surroundings. To live.

To feel like she belonged again.

Clarke picked up the smartphone she had bought at the airport and dialed the phone number that was written in bold blackness on the white business card, waiting patiently for the other person to pick up.

_“Governor Jaha?”_

“I’m interested in that job offer.”

* * *

Clarke pulled up to an old apartment complex in a rather deserted part of Polis, checking the address Jaha had given her for the third time. Frowning, Clarke looked at the building again. Was this a trap and the police was waiting for her inside, finally arresting her after having hunted her for the last few years now?

But that wouldn’t make sense to the blonde. If Jaha had wanted her to get arrested, he’d have her taken into custody the moment his men had brought her back to the states. Yet she had laid in a hospital bed with a fake name on her chart. Jaha wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble if he wanted to hand her over to the authorities.

Still, Clarke stayed alerted as she got out of her car and walked around it. The light was on in some of the rooms, showing her that someone must be already in the building. The apartment building looked like the normal type people would live in, located in a quieter part of Polis though it was only a few minutes away from the center of the city.

This building was not how Clarke had imaged the base of their task force would look like.

She walked up to the door, ready to knock as a black limousine parked next to her, the official license number giving away the identity of its occupant. A beat later the door opened and Governor Jaha got out of the car, smiling at seeing Clarke at the agreed place. He’d lie if he hadn’t thought for a few moments that the blonde woman would’ve changed her mind and wouldn’t show up.

“Clarke. Good to see you again. I hope you had no trouble finding this place.”

Clarke shrugged, her face a mask like always. “I found it without any trouble, though it looks completely different than how I imaged it.”

“Yeah, I wanted a place completely for the people on this task force. This building was vacant and has the right size. We converted it for our purposes. The ground level is solely for work, fully equipped and ready to be used. The upper levels has small apartments for each of you.”

“So I don’t just work with the team but also live in the same building with them?” Clarke summarized, not completely comfortable with that idea.

“Do you already have a place?”

“That’s not the point and you know it.” Clarke hated it if she wasn’t informed of _all_ the facts. Not knowing everything there was to know about something could end in death in her line of work. Not knowing could lead to making mistakes, mistakes which always ended badly.

Her last mistake had given her an extended stay at a terrorist camp.

Jaha sighed when he saw the signs of the young woman shutting down again. “Look, I know I should have informed you of this fact, but I know you wouldn’t have been thrilled about it. You’d probably would have changed your mind and declined the offer, hanging up on me before I’d have the chance to speak with you properly about this.”

Clarke’s silence confirmed the man’s suspicion.

“This arrangement was just for the fact that if you got a case, no one needed to drive for ages to get here. Some of the members are from other states. Just like you, they don’t have an apartment. This solution saves any of you the search for a place, and there’s no lease for you to pay. As long as you’re a member of PSU, you can use the apartment for free. At least the accommodation. Clothes, food, drinks and anything else you need are on you.”

The blonde shook her head, unsure if she really should take this position, but before she could say anything the governor was already talking again. “Look, why don’t you just give it a try? If this isn’t it for you, we can find you something else.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Jaha replied confused.

“Why are you so set on helping me? Why won’t you let me just disappear into nothingness and leave me alone?”

The man in front of her sighed. “Clarke, I know you since you were a little baby. You were my son’s best friend. You’re family. I don’t want you to throw away your life.”

“Too late for that.” Clarke murmured bitterly.

“No, it’s not. I can help you if you’d let me.”

“I bet you wouldn’t keep your position for long if the people would know about your contact to a known assassin.”

“I’m not about to tell anyone about your past, Clarke. Just like I know you won’t tell just anyone.”

Clarke glanced back to the building, thinking everything over for a few seconds while Jaha waited patiently for her decision. “The team doesn’t know about me being an assassin?”

“No. I kept any detail of you under wraps. If you choose to tell them, that’s on you. But they won’t hear it from me.”

“So they know nothing about me.” She stated.

“Not even your name. I didn’t know if you’d even be willing to think about my offer. Why should I tell them anything about you if there was a big chance that you wouldn’t be up for it?”

The blonde bit on her lip, finally coming to a decision. “Fine. I’ll give it a try. But if I feel like this isn’t right for me…”

“I promise you I won’t hold you back. You have full control about any action of yours.” Jaha cut her off. He fished an envelope out of his pocket and held it out for her. “There’s your badge, your ID card and the key for the building inside. Since this is a closed apartment, there’s no need for individual keys for each apartment. You’re no children anymore. Each of you mature enough to respect each other’s privacy.”

The ringing of a cell phone interrupted their conversation, Jaha reached for his phone to look at the caller ID and sighed. “I’m sorry, but I have to take this. Why don’t you go inside? I’ll follow as soon as I’m finished.” He exclaimed and didn’t give her time to reply by accepting the call, turning slightly away from her.

With nothing else to do but to follow Jaha’s suggestion, Clarke put the key into the lock and opened the door. The hall leading further into the building was dark, but it didn’t take Clarke long to find the light button. The hall was immediately illuminated, and she saw that it led to a firmer door with a device where one had to enter an access code to open the door.

Clarke was slightly impressed since she had been under the impression that this building was poorly secured. Walking up to the door she contemplated the access code, not willing to just stand here and wait for the governor to end his call. Opening the envelope she looked through the contents for any hint for the code. Finding nothing she glanced back to the device. There were too many possibilities.

It had to be a combination not everyone could think of. Lifting her finger Clarke tried a few combinations she related to the task force. Nothing. The light dot stayed red.

Jaha hadn’t told her anything about a code and there wasn’t anything noted inside the envelope. Was this a test? Or was he expecting her to know the code already? Clarke thought about personal dates. The day of Jaha’s wedding, his birthdate, his address, Wells’ birthdate.

The date of Wells’ death.

That was the code she went with first. Her fingers moving over the touch pad, entering the exact date of that damn day. That day that seemed to follow her everywhere. After entering the code she waited.

After a beat the light changed to green and the door opened.

Shaking off the memories of that fateful day, Clarke pushed open the door and entered the work base. Like Jaha had said, the base was fully equipped, computers and monitors were hooked up at different work areas, looking like the latest technology any authority could have. There were different cabinets, some with the same requirement of entering codes.

Clarke walked further into the door when she heard a noise coming from the right and she promptly turned to face its source, ready to take on any danger.

Her eyes landed on a woman around her age, long brunette hair and the greenest eyes she had ever seen. The brunette was beautiful, her clothes complemented her figure. The woman’s posture reminded her of the military, and for a moment she imagined her in a uniform, but quickly put away the image when she noticed the right hand of the green eyed woman move towards the gun on her hip.

“Who are you?”

* * *

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> I'd really like to thank you all for the encouraging comments! I love reading about your thoughts :)

**Chapter 4**

Lexa let her gaze wander over the work place again, somewhat bored that they haven’t received a case yet. Governor Jaha had told her that he wanted to wait for the unit to be completed before he’d start assigning cases, though he had yet to determine the duration of the wait for the missing team member. Until now all they did was a little team bonding, mostly through training and helping each other getting settled in.

The brunette sighed. This wasn’t how she imagine it. She hated to just sit around doing nothing. In her mind the team was ready and definitely more useful than doing nothing. At least Raven and Monty could do a little work by getting acquainted with their technical equipment, even doing a few upgrades though Lexa wasn’t so sure if the governor would have agreed to some of them.

She smiled when she thought back to the large smile which had formed on Raven’s lips when she had first seen their equipment. The younger brunette had looked like a child in a candy shop.

Lexa turned around about to follow the example of the others and retire to her apartment when she heard a commotion from the door leading out of the building. She glanced confused at the door, waiting patiently yet cautiously for the person to emerge from the hall outside. As far as she knew there weren’t any visitors announced, and not everyone could just walk through this secured door.

She was surprised when she saw a blonde woman, wearing jeans a grey shirt and a black leather coat entering the base. Curiously she followed the blonde’s movement, watched how she took in her environment. In her hands was a thick brown envelope. Lexa’s instincts kicked in when the stranger moved further into the room and she laid her hand on her service weapon for precaution.

“Who are you?”

The blonde whipped around surprised, her blue eyes landing onto Lexa’s green ones. The young commander had to admit that the woman was breathtakingly beautiful, her posture and blue eyes showed confidence and she looked not in the least affected by Lexa’s hand on her gun.

“I’m just a girl looking for shelter.” The blonde grinned and lifted a brow challenging.

“Ma’am, I need to see your identification. This building is non-public. You’re not allowed to be in here without the necessary authorization.”

The blonde intruder slowly but surely made her way over to Lexa, letting her gaze wander over the green-eyed brunette and smiling appreciated. “Are you going to search me for weapons?”

When the blonde was only two steps away Lexa drew her gun and aimed at the woman. “Stop! Don’t move and keep your hands where I can see them.”

An amused chuckled was the initial response of the stranger followed by her raising her hands lazily, the envelope still in her left hand. Yet the woman kept moving closer to Lexa, walking the short distance until the gun pressed against the woman’s chest. The pair of blue eyes stared into Lexa’s the whole time, as if she willed the brunette to act. Willing her to put her words into action and shoot at the blonde.

Was this woman insane? Mentally disturbed?

Though Lexa couldn’t see any madness in those blue eyes, only clarity and confidence. As if she knew Lexa wouldn’t shoot. Moreover Lexa couldn’t imagine just anybody finding out their entrée code.

Who was this blonde stranger?

“Commander, lower your gun.” Lexa’s eyes flickered surprised to the door and noticed Governor Jaha observing the scene carefully. How long he had been standing there she had no idea.

“Sir?”

“She’s authorized to be here, Commander.” Jaha clarified.

Lexa looked back to the blonde. Her smile had dimmed and her arms were back down again. The brunette lowered the gun and holstered it on her hip again.

The governor walked closer to the two woman, aware of their mustering looks at each other. He just hoped Clarke would behave and follow Commander Woods’ orders. He had imagined their first meeting differently, at least without the usage of guns. “Commander, may I introduce you to your last team member, Clarke Griffin? Clarke, this is Commander Lexa Woods, team leader and your direct superior.”

Lexa widened her eyes surprised. This was the missing member of the task force? The brunette thought immediately back to her cockiness before Governor Jaha interrupted them and sighed, knowing that this blonde woman, this Clarke Griffin, may spell trouble.

“Commander, huh?” Clarke smiled. “Not bad.”

“What about your background? You don’t look like military. But you don’t look like a police officer either. FBI?”

“I was working in the private sector.”

“Security?” Lexa guessed, wanting to pin down her latest addition to the team.

“Among other things.”

“Such as?”

Clarke shrugged. “Why talking about banality? Let’s just say I offered my services to anyone with the necessary money.”

Lexa lifted a brow. “Sounds almost like prostitution.”

The blonde laughed. “Not really. I don’t sleep around.” Blue eyes looked over Lexa’s frame again. “At least not for money.”

Now Jaha looked like this conversation touched a topic he wanted to avoid. Clarke was almost like a daughter to him. He didn’t need to know anything about her sex life. “I chose her personally. I can guarantee that Clarke is a great asset for this task force, Commander.”

Lexa nodded at the governor, having not much room left for discussions. Hand-picked by the governor. The brunette let her gaze wander over the blonde again, asking herself about the woman’s traits and skills to get picked by the governor personally.

“I’ve got to get back to work. Commander, I trust that you will show Clarke around and introduce her to the rest of the team?” Jaha asked.

“Of course, Sir.”

“Clarke.” The governor nodded at Clarke and turned around, leaving the two women on their own.

The blonde turned back towards the other woman. “So you’re the big boss then, huh?”

“I’m your superior and you’d do good to listen to my command.”

Clarke’s smirk grew at the brunette’s words, but kept her mouth shut after seeing Lexa lifting a brow looking at her challenging. It was late and she was tired. She would have enough time to push the commander’s buttons.

“I understand the whole team lives here?”

“Yes. We’re in the base right now. We’re working on our cases in here. The elevator over there leads up to the common room with a kitchen. It’s like a loft. An open space for all of us. The two levels over the common room are filled with our rooms.”

“The elevator is the only connection between the levels? That means we’re sitting ducks in case of a blackout.” Clarke pointed out, not liking the prospect of being caged in in case of a power loss.

“We have a back-up generator. The generator kicks in as soon as the power gets cut.”

“Nice.”

“The others already retired for the night. Introductions will take place tomorrow. I’ll show you the loft upstairs and the room you will be staying in.” Lexa said and moved towards the elevator, Clarke on her heels.

The elevator opened up to a wide space big windows doubtlessly letting in the sunlight during the day, whereas now the street lights shone in. Lexa flipped the light switch and the room instantly lit up showing the still sparsely furnished place.

“The common room. Open kitchen fully stocked, large couch, some armchairs, a TV, shelves with a diversity of different books.” Commander Woods pointed out the different things.

Clarke nodded as she took in the room before her, sensing that the common room would be at fault for many shared moments with the team. She’d rather have an apartment with any necessary items for herself than just use it to sleep and body hygiene.

“Let’s go up to your room.” The blonde followed the other woman wordlessly, her eyes briefly trailing over the backside of the brunette appreciating the view. “You seem to know Governor Jaha well.”

It came out more like a statement but Clarke still heard the underlying question, the brunette obviously trying to pin her down and searching for more information about her. Clarke contemplated ignoring the unsaid words before deciding to disclose one detail about herself. Just one. “I went to school with his son. We were best friends.”

“Were?”

This time Clarke stayed silent not bothering herself with keeping the conversation alive. If the commander thought that she’d get easy answers out of her she thought wrong. Spending years on her own the blonde wasn’t used to share details about her life and she wouldn’t start now, with a stranger.

Lexa sighed as she noticed that she won’t get any further information about this out of her team member. This one would be a hard nut to crack, her shell rather thick and she’d have to wait to try again. But she won’t give up, that much was for sure.

The elevator opened and they moved along the floor, doors were lined up on either side before they come to a stop at the end of the short hallway. “This one is still empty. My own room is right next to it. Surprisingly the rooms farthest from mine were the fastest taken.”

Clarke cocked a brow. “Is that supposed to be a warning?”

She couldn’t help but jump right onto the playful banter of the blonde and smirked, lifting a brow on of her own. “You tell me.”

“I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.”

Lexa cleared her throat. “You should go to bed. I’ll introduce you to the team in the morning.” With that the brunette turned around and walked over to her own room, disappearing behind the door without once glancing back at Clarke.

Entering her own room Clarke closed the door behind her and looked around. There was a comfy-looking queen-sized bed on one side, graced on either side with a little nightstand. On the other side was a big wardrobe for clothes, a desk and a chair, a small armchair stood in one corner of the room in front of the window. A wooden door leading doubtlessly into the bathroom rounded the apartment up.

Since she had yet to buy some more clothes for herself and other things Clarke just opted to take off her leather jacket and her pants to sleep in only her shirt and underwear. The fact that she couldn’t lock her room resulted in putting the dagger she always wore on herself under her cushion, taking care of the fact that it will be easily accessible if need be. She’d ask for her service piece first thing in the morning, not liking the fact of being weaponless at an unknown location.

Sighing, Clarke closed her eyes waiting patiently for the sleep to come.

* * *

 

 


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Panting noises rung through the otherwise silent room, short breaths and pained groans accompanied the sounds coming from the bed. The sleeping blonde turned restlessly around the room, trapped inside her own demons.

After a few more minutes of tossing and turning the blonde woman suddenly shot up in a sitting position her right hand had reached out for the hidden dagger brining the sharp weapon up to attack any possible threat, breathing heavily while the pounding of her heart drowned any other sound.

Taking deep breaths Clarke willed her heart to slow down to its normal heartrate again, her right hand with the dagger sinking down as she noticed that no one but herself was in her room. Ever since her capture in the terrorist camp she had trouble sleeping, knowing that she didn’t just walked away with only physical scars. She had yet to sleep through the night since her rescue, ghosts still haunting her at nights.

Glancing out of the window she saw that it was still dark though rather than stay in bed trying to get some more sleep, Clarke gave up and moved out of the bed and put on her clothes again, longing for the cool air to envelope her and to forget her demons for a while.

Silently Clarke left her room and made her way towards the elevator while trying to make as less noise as she could not to wake any of the occupants of the building. Only once in the elevator she dared to breathe out relieved knowing that she’d be out of the building pretty soon and that none of the others had heard her.

As soon as her feet hit the pavement outside of the building Clarke started to run. She didn’t look at the time and she had no destination or route in mind. She just ran. It had always felt freeing to move around without restraints, to so clearly feel the freedom, taste it in the fresh air. She always went out for a run after a nightmare, feeling at peace and soothing her own soul.

Yet Clarke wasn’t stupid and she knew that she couldn’t run away from her demons. She knew that they’d be there again each night she’d go to bed waiting to pull her back into the hell that was her own mind. The blonde could run to the end of the world, they would always be with her.

Clarke had to just find a way to live with them.

Until then she’ll have to keep dealing with restless and short nights.

She didn’t know for how long she had run, just kept her feet moving on the hard pavement. There weren’t a lot of people out at this time of the early morning, a few early risers out for a run before their day started, a few of them nodding greeting at her though she ignored them, not even acknowledging them.

Glancing up she was surprised to see where she had ended up at. The huge building stood tall and proud in front of her. Most rooms were still dark, the lightened up sign at the top of the building informed everyone where they were at exactly.

_Polis Medical Center._

Somehow she had found her way to the one hospital she had spent quite some time in as a kid. Clarke smiled briefly as some old memories flooded her mind, a warmth feeling spread through her insides. She had always loved this place, certain that there will come the time were she’ll work there herself saving many lives.

She thought of little adventures she undertook with some of the nurses, laughs during the games she played with them or other kids in the hospital, all the times she spent trailing behind Nyko as if she was his apprentice. Oh those happy times.

There weren’t a lot of cars at the hospital’s parking lot though Clarke was sure she’d have recognized that lone blue car even in a packed parking lot. Shaking her head, Clarke couldn’t believe that Nyko still drove that exact same car after so many years, remembering how ecstatic he had been when he had first bought it.

Clarke looked at the time knowing that if Nyko was having a night shift he’d be off any time soon. Making her way over to his car she planted herself on his hood, carefully avoiding to put any damage on it. Leaning back Clarke stared into the calm night sky, the sun only barely making its way over the horizon.

It couldn’t have been longer than half an hour when Clarke noticed out of the corner of her eye a figure making its way towards her. A tall male with broad shoulders, trimmed beard and short brown hair. But she knew exactly who he was, his gait a dead give-away after having spent so many hours trailing behind him as a kid.

Clarke’s lips formed a smile waiting for the man to arrive. It was still not bright enough to see him more clearly but from what she could see Clarke realized that he hadn’t changed a bit.

He was still the Nyko she knew.

Nyko noticed the person sitting on his car when he was just a few more steps away. “Would you mind sitting somewhere else?”

Clarke’s smile grew as she stayed silent waiting for him to come closer.

“Do I have to repeat myself? Scram!”

The blonde chuckled and Nyko glanced her up and down confused, however something must have clicked as she noticed him narrowing his eyes as if to place her. If it wouldn’t have been so many years she would be offended by that.

“Clarke?”

“Hey, Nyko.” The still sitting woman replied gently knowing that this was a huge surprise for the man.

“My God that I live to see the day!” He quickly closed the distance between them and swept the blonde up in a tight embrace and Clarke would be worried about her air supply if she wouldn’t hug the man equally so tight.

Chin resting on his shoulder Clarke breathed in the familiar smell of Nyko, feeling somewhat safe in the man’s arms. He had always been like family to her and it obviously didn’t change. “How are you?”

“ _How are you_?!” Nyko drew back though kept his arms on Clarke’s shoulder as if to keep reminding himself that she was really there with him, safely sitting on the hood of his car. “ _How are you_? That’s the first I get after not hearing from you for months? What happened, Clarke? Why didn’t you call?”

“It’s a long story. One I don’t want to go into right no.”

“You’re alive, Little Girl. That’s all that I care about.” Nyko replied softly and she smiled at the old nickname.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Big Guy.”

“I was about to lose hope to ever seeing your blonde mane again.”

Clarke shrugged, smirking cheekily at him. “Well, the past always comes back to bite you in the ass, right?”

“Should I be worried?” He asked placing his hands protectively on his ass while they smiled at each other. Clarke couldn’t believe how good it felt to be back in Polis and have a conversation with Nyko like old times. “So, is this just a short visit or are you staying?”

Another shrug. “Don’t know yet. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” Ocean blue eyes flicker briefly towards the hospital to see if anyone was around that might recognize her. Glancing back she bid worryingly onto her lower lip. “How is _she_?”

“She’s good. Everyone loves her. Her patients are praising her, just like us colleagues. She travels a lot. She’s living her life.” Nyko answered.

“Good,” Clarke nodded, happy that her mother seemed to have moved on. Abby Griffin had always been one of the strongest women she had ever known and she was glad to know that where she had broken her mother had fought herself back to life. “That’s good.”

“She still misses you.”

Those four words were almost a whisper travelling through the air into her ears, making their way into her system and sending a piercing jolt through her heart. She was missing her, too. To know that her absence still hurt the older Griffin woman pained the blonde, yet she knew she was nowhere ready to face her mother.

“I can’t believe you’re still driving this car. Go tell your boss to give you a rise so that you can buy a new one!” Clarke teased hoping that the man understood her need for a change in topic.

“What can I say, I _love_ that car!”

“Clearly.”

“Hey listen, I met this woman-“

“I hope she’s good to you.” Clarke stated. Her friend had a good heart and only deserved the best in her mind. Anyone threatening to hurt him would have to answer to her.

“She’s great. Echo is wonderful.”

“How did you meet?”

Nyko chuckled, putting his bag down and moved to sit next to her on his car. “Rather unspectacular. We met in the supermarket.”

“Meeting the love of your life between canned food and detergents?”

“Well, you never know when you’ll meet the one. We just have to be open for all possibilities. We’ve been together for three years now.”

A pair of stunned eyes flickered up to the man sitting next to her. “Three years? Why have you never said anything in one of our phone calls?”

“It never seemed the right time. Those phone calls were always short, just a brief moment of letting each other know that we’re still out there somehow getting by.”

Clarke felt guilty at that. He was right those phone calls had always been cut short. She had always called from different phones, phones one couldn’t trace back. She had made a habit of calling the man regularly to let him know that she was still alive and to see if everything was fine with her mother. She never had thought about the position she had put him in. He was a friend of her mother and she knew that he didn’t like lying to her and if she’d ever find out Clarke was afraid that their friendship would be strained afterwards. So she kept the interactions with him as brief as possible as if to try to keep the damage at a minimum.

“I asked her to marry me a few days ago.”

“And….?”

“She said yes.”

“Of course she did. Who wouldn’t want to marry you? You’re a catch.”

Nyko huffed out a laugh. “We’re celebrating the engagement this Friday. I would be happy if you’d come, Clarke.”

Clarke sighed staring blankly in front of her. “I don’t know, Nyko. I’m sure my mom will be there.”

“No, she won’t. Sadly she has to work this Friday.”

“There still might be others who could recognize me and tell my mom. I’m not ready for that.”

“Then just stay for an hour or so. Most colleagues will come over later.”

“I’ll think about it.” Clarke replied still unsure if she should go.

“It would mean a lot to me. I’d like you to meet Echo. I think you’d like her.”

“I’ll see if I can show up for a few minutes.”

“That’s all I ask.” Nyko fished an old supermarket bill out of his pocket and grabbed the pen from his other pocket, writing something on the back of the bill. “Here, this is my new address. I would really love it if you’d come.”

Clarke accepted the offered piece of paper and looked at the handwritten address. She nodded once and put the paper safely away in her pocket of her pants, hopping off the hood. The sun was now clearly rising over the horizon, the next day now officially arriving.

“I should go.”

Sighing Nyko nodded understandingly. “Is there a way to contact you?”

Clarke slipped out the paper with the address again and tore a little piece off, gesturing for him to give her his pen. Carefully she wrote down her current phone number. “My phone number. You can call anytime.”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t.” Clarke smiled as she hugged Nyko again before slipping away from him making her way back to the apartment complex where no doubt her new team members were already waiting for her.

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

After the run back with a quick stop at a little coffee place for some breakfast Clarke finally arrived back at the building she now was living in. Looking at it now in the morning sun, the building appeared far newer as it did last night. It was obvious that someone took some money in hand and renovated the building. Though the building didn’t give any indication that a special task force was working and living inside those walls.

Making her way through the thick and well protected door Clarke took the elevator to the common room to see if she could grab a water bottle before she’d return to her room to take a shower. As the elevator opened the blonde was met with a kitchen full of people, all eyes moved to her as they had heard the sound of the arriving elevator.

Too many eyes in Clarke’s mind as she stared back uncomfortably.

“Just in time for breakfast, Griffin. Everyone, that’s Clarke Griffin, our last member. She arrived late last night. Griffin, come over and meet your team members.” Lexa spoke from her place in the middle of the crowded kitchen.

Clarke frowned. “I didn’t know there was a mandatory breakfast?”

“There’s no mandatory breakfast. However we _do_ share a kitchen so it’s bound to happen to share meals with the others.”

Clarke skipped over and took one of the water bottles standing on the kitchen counter, ready to get out of the cramped room. She didn’t like the attention she got. She had spent the last years trying to blend in and to not draw any attention to herself. Being the center of attention went against everything she was used to. “Well, in that case I’m off to shower. I already ate on my way back from my run.”

Before anyone could say anything the blonde woman was already back in the elevator making her way up to her room.

Raven huffed. “A real team player, huh?”

“It will give. She just arrived last night.” Lexa commented still staring at the closed doors of the elevator. She felt like she had to try and break through the walls Clarke Griffin seemed to have.

There was one thing Lexa knew for sure. She wouldn’t let Clarke Griffin waltz in here and do whatever she wanted to do. She’ll have to keep the blonde woman in line.

Octavia Blake narrowed her eyes as she watched the blonde woman retreat into the elevator. She felt like she had already seen her somewhere in the past, yet she couldn’t place her. However something told her to stay wary of this Griffin woman.

* * *

After a refreshing shower Clarke debated on what to do next. She doubted that they would already have a case to work on, otherwise she was sure their brunette leader would have said something already. At the same time she wasn’t really in the mood to just sit around and do nothing but chatting with the others. Clarke had never been the most talkative, even back in school Clarke was more the listener as the talker.

Especially hearing the things between the lines.

Glancing back to her open bag next to her bed she decided to go out and shop for a few more things. She couldn’t keep going on with the handful clothes she had with her, at least not if she really wanted to give this a chance.

She’d rather skip the common room and her team mates but she should at least check in with Commander Woods to see if they indeed didn’t have a case. Hope fluttered in her at the prospect of having something to do.

The tell-tale sound of the arriving elevator sounded and Clarke walked out towards the kitchen only to see two people still remaining there, low voices indicated that the others moved around the corner into the living area.

“What the hell?! Medical term for a growth on the spinal cord with… sixteen letters? Do they think we all studied medicine?” Clarke heard the brunette girl mutter under her breath, clearly working on a crossword. The other woman with black hair looked boringly onto the same crossword, keeping quiet.

“Myelomeningocele.”

Two sets of eyes flickered up in surprise, both obviously hadn’t heard her arrival. The two women looked like their blonde team member just grew a second head. The sight was almost comical and Clarke honestly had to fight an amused smile, already feeling the slight tuck on her lips.

“Come again?” The brunette replied.

Clarke slowly repeated the term and the brunette glanced down on her crossword while the black haired girl spoke up in confusion. “I didn’t know such a word exists.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and bit on her under lip as she couldn’t keep them from a brief smile.

Brown eyes met her blue eyes again. “Could you spell it?”

“I’m sorry, who’re you again?” Clarke asked, knowing full well that she would have known this already if she had chosen to stay earlier. But the unexpected attention had been too much back then, two people she could do though.

A big smile spread on the brunette’s face as she sat up straighter, the woman next to her already rolled her eyes telling Clarke that she was probably in for a treat. “Raven Reyes, Baby.” Clarke just lifted a brow at the term of endearment, feeling slightly irritated by it. “Best MIT absolvent and best technic specialist in the whole wide world.”

“Never heard of modesty, huh?”

Raven scoffed at that. “I heard about it alright. I just ignore its existence.”

Clarke chuckled soundlessly about the comment and let her gaze flicker to the other woman in front of her, instantly not liking how the dark haired woman glanced at her. She felt unease making its way through her body though she never let it show.

“Don’t mind her. That’s Octavia. She’s been with the CIA. I think it’s her nature to scan everyone with her X-ray vision.” Raven cut off the growing silence between the three of them, perhaps having felt the tension between her new co-workers.

At the mention of the CIA Clarke’s eyes widened briefly. If Octavia had been working for them there was a good chance that she knew of her and her _work_. Sure, the woman could have worked in a complete different division, however the open distrust she seemed to have for Clarke told the blonde that she may know more of her than the others, meaning she’d have to treat carefully.

“CIA, huh?” Clarke asked as she finally broke the staring match with Octavia. “Sounds cool.”

“Believe me, there’s more to it than just catching the bad guys. There’s more politics and paperwork involved as one might think. I’m not missing it.” Octavia replied evenly.

“And what have you been up to before joining this team?” Lexa asked having joined them in the kitchen. Clarke had to give it to the brunette, she was stealthy as hell.

The blonde shrugged. “I was some time abroad.”

Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie, was it? She had been abroad, but she immediately stirred her thoughts away from her time in Somalia. It was enough that her mind seemed to visit that very place every night, making it hard for her to find some rest.

“Travelling?” Raven asked curiously, leaning her elbows on the kitchen counter and resting her head on her fists.

“I stayed in one place.”

Octavia crossed her arms. “Must be a nice place if you stayed for a longer time.”

“Not really.”

“Aren’t allowed to talk about it?” The brunette asked probably in hopes of getting a juicy action story full of secrets.

Clarke smiled at her, liking her comfortable and careless demeanor. “Oh, I’m allowed. I just don’t want to.”

Out of the corner of her eyes the blonde noticed that her last comment had drawn the attention of their commander and green eyes looked at her strangely. As if Clarke had just giving her another tiny puzzle piece for her to work on, trying to fit it in the picture in the form of one Clarke Griffin.

“Well, as nice as this little chat has been, I’ve got to go. I see you later.” Clarke quickly made her exit before one of them could say anything. She had absolutely no idea why she had mentioned her stint in Africa. She should have just kept her mouth shut, let them come up with their own theories and leave for her little shopping tour. Disclosures like these only led to more questions. More questions to figure somebody out. Her life was her own and she didn’t share. Didn’t _want_ to share.

Her life was based of dozens of bad decisions and misled illusions. People knowing her story would never accept her. Clarke was the sole embodiment of bad, her character and background lining in flawlessly with the many criminals the _good guys_ were chasing. Jaha was walking a fine line in a very small grey zone with helping her. His career would easily be over if anyone would learn of their connection and his undergoing in helping and housing her – and she’d be put behind bars in no time.

No one would question the decision.

Maybe she’d even be killed before all this in order to keep the connection between her and the CIA secret. It was not like Clarke was one who’d easily talk, but for them she was a loose end _able_ to talk. Talk about things no one outside a small group of people should know of.

And even if Clarke would risk all this and tell the others about herself, about the things she’d done up until now, the blonde knew that her time with them would be over. She’d never be accepted by them. They were the good people and she was not. Not based by her deeds.

Though Clarke always choose to believe that there were no good guys out there. What was the definition of good? Was someone stealing food so that they could provide for their family bad? Was someone killing a person out of self-defense bad? Was someone having been sucked in the world of drugs a bad person?

People who knew about such things about someone _always_ looked strangely at them. They may say otherwise but their glances always told a different story. Bad decisions were always frowned upon. People making them were anomalies. They don’t belong to the stereotypes defining the term _good people_ , marking them _normal_.

But Clarke had begun to split the term bad guys for herself while she had spiraled into abyss. For her there were the ones who unintentionally became bad and the ones who _wanted_ to be.

She had yet to find her own position in those two.

The next three hours Clarke had thrown herself into the fashion world, shutting her mind off as she looked at different clothing and horrendous prizes. Once again she blended in on the crowd. A no one in the midst of many. She always felt free in those moments. Surrounded by people but never been seen by them. Clarke often wondered about the ignorance of people.

The blonde was broken out of her musings when her eyes fell upon a familiar face. Brownish blonde hair thrown into a messy ponytail with a few strands straying out of it and shocked hazel eyes.

The world around her faded out.

The only sound Clarke heard was the fast pounding of her heart as she stood perfectly in the sight of the person she had thought she wouldn’t meet any time soon.

Abby Griffin.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Some days were just plain colorless. Minutes turning into hours as she patiently waited for the day to be finally over. To change to another day with whispers of a new start. A new day trying to ignore the numbness and pain. Some days were better than others, the pain lessened over the time yet never went away completely.

Abby Griffin had learned to live with the feeling of loss. Through her job as a doctor she had learn quickly to adapt to the fact that people will die eventually – some sooner than others. Like any other doctor Abby tried with all she had to extend the lives of others as much as possible, helping people with getting second chances.

Still, since her husband had died and her daughter went missing Abby felt broken. There were pieces of herself she had lost and it looked like she will never get them back.

For a long time she had thrown herself into her job, adding additional hours to her schedule whenever she was able to and she loathed the days she was off duty. Days off of work were never spent at home with a hot cup of coffee and a good book anymore. The remembrance of happy laughers, a deep, calm voice mixed in with exited young babblings in the background was too much. The house once filled with happy tones screamed too much silence nowadays.

Thankfully there were a few people who made life still livable. Colleagues and friends reminded Abby often that they were still there and that she wasn’t alone, even if she felt like it. They helped her getting out of her own head, giving her something to hold onto.

She was the most grateful for Marcus Kane.

He came into her life when she was at her lowest. Back then the pain of Jake’s death ever present and her worry of her recently gone missing daughter filled her life. Marcus hadn’t known of Abby’s past, having only gotten snippets through gossip, yet he had called her out of her stupor.

Marcus had been at her side ever since. She didn’t know when things had changed. His calm presence grounding her in dark moments, friendship turning into more. He filled her with hopes when she was hopeless. He woke feelings when she was feeling nothing but that damn numbness.

Sometimes she wondered where she’d be now if it wasn’t for him.

Because he gave her back the sense of life that had become senseless.

Even now, years after Clarke’s disappearance he was always there helping her when she started yet another attempt to find her, knowing full well that there will be no success. Honestly Abby already accepted the fact that she not only lost her husband years ago but also her daughter. If she hadn’t been so occupied with herself in her grief, she would’ve already noticed it back then.

Even with knowing that she probably will never see her daughter again Abby couldn’t help herself but turning around when she noticed a head with sun-kissed blonde curls passing by, checking out the source of a young, husky voice accompanied by a pair of blue eyes. But they were never the right shape of blue.

They were never _hers_.

At those times Abby felt silly. Silly for haunting a ghost. She was learning to fight the urge to chase after phantasies of finally finding her daughter again. This urge to turn around and check more carefully if this person she had seen out from the corner of her eye really wasn’t her long lost beautiful girl.

Sometimes she noticed Marcus’ pitiful look when she look after another blonde woman who shared some similarities with Clarke. It wasn’t always there and it was always gone in seconds changing into an understanding and reassuring glance, but she knew that he thought that Clarke was gone for good. And she knew he was probably right. But _still_ ….

Abby left the store with a shopping bag in her right. The sidewalk was quite busy though it was a normal sight. People walking from one place to another, some of them talking on their phone, others listened to music. It was really sad that most tried to ignore the other people, shying away from any possible interaction with strangers.

She was about to turn left and make her way to the bakery she told Marcus to meet her when she saw another blonde mane with the same shade her daughter had. Abby didn’t face the person immediately, instead battling herself to not look that way. She could just ignore the person, avoid the inevitable heartbreak and head towards Marcus.

Taking a deep and calming breath Abby collected herself and turned left into the direction of the bakery. One step, two step. With every step away from the blonde woman her heart beat more wildly. Her breath came out more and more irregularly and she knew, she knew that she won’t make it to the bakery without making sure that the blonde hair didn’t belong to Clarke and she hated herself for it.

Abby felt like she was a prisoner of her own mind.

No, not her mind. Her head knew exactly that the chances were pretty slim that it would be her daughter. It was her heart which didn’t give up and clung to the last shreds of hope and Abby would love to just tear out her heart if that would mean that she could finally live in peace.

That she could finally give up.

She hated even more the fact that it felt easier walking _towards_ the blonde woman than it had when she turned into the other direction. Her eyes searched over the sidewalk trying to find the person with those blonde curls she had seen just a few seconds ago. Her breath caught when she finally found her standing three shops away from her.

The woman was looking at something through a store window. The blonde strains reached down just over her shoulders and were a little unruly mess as if the woman had the habit to brush through them with her hand every now and then. The blonde wore a black leather jacket and dark jeans with black boots.

Abby’s fingers tingled with anticipation. Eyes widening slightly when the blonde turned her head a little and Abby could make out some parts of her face. It was almost cliché how it felt to her that time stood still as she watched the blonde turning and walking into her direction. The woman’s pace seemed familiar and every step was a stinging pain in her heart.

Suddenly the woman lifted her head and glanced in her direction and all Abby could notice that she was suddenly alone with the stranger standing a few feet away from her. All the other people and noises were all gone. There were only the two of them.

Abby felt the beginning of tears in her eyes as she stared directly into two blue eyes. Her heart picked up speed at the discovery. Finally, after so long she stared into the exact shade of blue she had searched for since her daughter went missing.

Brown eyes quickly flew over the figure of the blonde. Her mouth opened slightly and the name of her daughter slipped from her lips in a soft whisper. Abby felt her knees getting weak and she mustered all of her strength to move her legs to the woman when all of the sudden the world came crashing back in as a person walked into her.

Panicked that she lost sight of the blonde Abby rushed forward frantically searching the area for her. She had been here, just a few steps from her. It was _her_ , she was so sure of that. She couldn’t lose her again. Not after finding her after all this time.

Her movements got more hectic and she felt like there were more and more people on the sidewalk. Some people started to give her strange looks and she didn’t know when she had let go of the shopping bag she had had firmly in her hand just a few moments ago. There was only one word in her mind.

_Clarke_.

The name of her daughter was repeating like a broken record yet there was no sound coming from her lips. The longer she searched through the masses the more she felt like falling. That was exactly what she wanted to avoid. Getting her hopes up just to end of falling into the dark abyss.

More and more she felt like she was drowning between the masses when she heard her name from behind her, two strong arms wrapped themselves around her from behind and she felt safe again. Her breathing calmed and her heart slowed back to its normal pace. She closed her eyes and leant back into the embrace while letting herself be surrounded by the familiar scent of Marcus Kane.

“Are you alright?”

No, she wasn’t. And she wasn’t sure if she will ever be.

“I am now. Thanks.” Abby replied opening her eyes again and letting her gaze roaming the area in front of her again before she turned around to face Marcus.

“Was it her again?”

As much as she wanted to avoid the topic, deflect and put on her brave face and forget about this moment, she knew better and she had promised Marcus to be honest with him. She shook her head as she tried to smile at him to soothe his worries. “I thought I could do it. Walk away from the possibility. But I couldn’t.”

“It’s alright, Abby. It will take time.”

“It’s been so long. How long will it take to finally accept that she isn’t coming back again?”

Marcus smiled at her, putting his hands on her cheek as he gently caressed her. “It takes as long as it takes, Abby. There’s no set time frame.”

“I’ve been so sure. It was her. She was just standing there. It was her blonde hair, her blue eyes. It was her face! She was looking directly at me, for god’s sake! And then she was just,… gone. Just like that.”

“Sometimes we see things that aren’t there. The human mind is one of the most mysterious things in the world.” He tried to explain what she might have seen.

“It was just a ghost.” Abby breathed out, the words more for her than for Marcus.

Marcus leant in and kissed her head before placing his arm around her shoulders. “How about we’re drinking some hot tea back at the bakery and leave this busy sidewalk?” Abby nodded against his shoulder and walked with him at her side towards the bakery, only stopping to pick up her shopping bag she had lost.

While she was picking up the shopping bag Marcus let his eyes wander over his shoulder, trying to see if he might see the person that had set off Abby again. Normally he wouldn’t think twice about it, but having seen Clarke just a few days ago and knowing that Jaha had talked to her about his idea made him open to the possibility that it really could have been Clarke herself.

But he couldn’t find anyone.

And just like Abby, he filed it away as a prank of Abby’s mind. Another imagination.

Just another ghost.

* * *

Blues eyes were blown wide open, her heartbeat came fast and merciless as if the organ was ready to break through her rips. She pressed as hard against the stone wall of the building as she could. She couldn’t believe what just happened.

Or better said, what _almost_ happened.

Clarke’s mind had been blank the moment she had laid eyes on her mother. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe. She just stood there and stared into the wide eyes of stunned brown eyes. Only when her mother had moved into her direction did her senses kick in again and she did what she could best – blend in. Clarke let herself be downed in the masses of the people passing her on all sides, slowly retreading. The blonde slipped into the first side street she found, glancing only once over her shoulder to see if her mother could still see her. Her heart broke at the sight of her mother searching for her in panic.

She felt bad for putting her mother through this. But she wasn’t ready to face her mother.

Slowly Clarke counted to hundred and peek back out onto the sidewalk still remaining as hidden as she could. She could see her mother walking away with a man who she felt like she knew. Her mother stopped briefly to pick something up and the man turned around.

Surprised as she was, Clarke looked at the face of Marcus Kane.

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to hurry....
> 
> Warning, there will be some gun violence, blood and death in the first part of this chapter. If you don't want to read it, skip over it. But I didn't go too much into detail.

**Chapter 8**

There weren’t a lot of things in life he let himself enjoy. Mundane things like home cooked meals, socializing with others, the soft summer breeze while the sun beams danced on the skin, listening to music while lounging on a comfy couch or just sitting back and enjoy a peaceful moment. Even now, sitting in the outside space of a little café on a fine Saturday morning was not something he did because he wanted to.

No. He was at work.

He was working all the time, every second of his life was dedicated to his life, every minute throughout planned and executed. There was no place for mindless things in his life. The feeling of exhaling softly while taking a hot and relaxing bath only a distant memory.

His hand brushed through his curly brown hair. He should get rid of his curls after this was over. There wasn’t much he could do to change his looks, just a quick change in hairstyle and a wardrobe change. Maybe grow himself a beard. Use contact lenses instead of his glasses.

Brown eyes roamed over the still empty street. It was early enough that most people where still enjoying some extra time in bed. The sun was only starting to announce a new day, some red and orange hues danced on the sky.

The barista of the café had been quite surprised to see him as he had opened the door for a new day filled with brewing coffee, serving pastries and dealing with customers. It had been pretty obvious that the barista wasn’t a morning person and therefore didn’t engage much in talking this early with a customer. It suited him, as he wasn’t much of a talker himself. Like previously stated, he didn’t take part in socializing. Never enjoyed it.

His eyes landed on a lone figure entering the street, wearing an expensive suit and talking animatedly with someone on the phone. The man’s voice only faintly audible from this distance. A quick glance to his watch told him that the man was right on time, just like he knew he would.

Long fingers curled around the handle of his coffee mug, talking a sip as he carefully observed the movements of the man as he came closer to where he was sitting. It only took him two minutes to pass him, not once glancing at the few people moving along the street. Whatever he was talking about to whomever it was on the other side of the phone call, this person had his complete attention.

The brunette haired man drunk the last bit of his coffee and fished out some money and put it carefully next to his now empty cup. He got up to follow the man on the phone when suddenly all went dark.

The man never got to hear the screams of the few people who strolled through the street and the shops close-by. He never got to see some people running away in panic while others just stared shocked at him, some even making some pictures.

He didn’t feel the blood seeping out from his bullet wound on his head, slowing forming a small puddle of dark red liquid on the little round table. His eyes just stared unfocused and dead ahead of him.

* * *

“Hey.”

Lexa looked up as Anya was slowly entering the kitchen. It was still early in the morning but the brunette wasn’t really surprised to see her old school friend already up. Even back in their teens Anya had no trouble getting up early in the mornings. Lexa had always envied her for this.

The two women knew each other since they were ten, having caused their parents quite some stressful moments as they had been known as causing a lot of trouble. They had been rather wild children, climbing trees, racing their bikes through the woods, food fights, skipping classes, attending collage parties, and so on and on. Things got only wilder the older they got.

Honestly? It was rather surprising that both of them ended up in law enforcement. Especially their parents had never thought they’d become such model citizen and were now helping to create a safer place for their community.

“Morning.” The brunette answered and ducked her head again to finish reading the article of the newspaper she was currently reading, only slightly aware of her friend fixing herself a cup of coffee.

At first having been asked to take on the leader role of a new task force Lexa hadn’t been sure if it would be a wise choice. She had spent quite some time abroad during her time with the Navy, practically called the war zones her home. She had absolutely no experience in law enforcement. Yet, Jaha had involved her in the process of picking out each and every team member and Lexa had been happy and maybe a bit relieved to see Anya’s name on the list. Though she’d never admit this to her friend.

The only thing that Jaha kept to himself about was the spot for the eighth member.

“I’m curious to see whether our newcomer will interact more with us today or flee the building again.”

“She better be start integrating into the team. I can’t have a loner doing whatever she wants.”

For the next few moments there was a peaceful silence taking over as Lexa continued to read the newspaper and Anya drinking her coffee while deep in thought. It wouldn’t be long until the rest of them will be joining them.

“She means trouble.”

Lexa sighed as she neatly refolded the newspaper and put it away. Knowing Anya she wouldn’t leave the topic behind, leaving Lexa with nothing to do put to but her attention away from the paper and towards the blonde who clearly wanted to discuss Clarke Griffin with her. “I have it under control.”

“No, you don’t. She keeps ignoring you. Like the rest of us. She acknowledged you being the team leader. _Acknowledged_ , Lexa. That doesn’t mean she respects you.”

Lifting a brow, the brunette was surprised at the outburst of her friend. Clearly, Anya wasn’t a fan of Griffin. “And what do you want me to do?”

“Show her the limits. She has to understand that she’s just as good as everyone else here and doesn’t get any special status. You’re the boss and she has to listen to your command.”

“You’re right,” Lexa began. Anya was somewhat right, but she had yet to find the perfect moment to approach the blonde woman who seemed to magically disappear whenever one of the team came closer. “I’m her boss and she has to follow my orders. Though when we aren’t at work we’re equals. We’re just a bunch of people living in the same building. I can’t _command_ anything of her outside of work, Anya. And right now, we have yet to get our first case assigned. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she’ll integrate smoothly into the team, but until then she can do whatever she pleases – within reasons of course.”

“Well, I suggest you do it fast. It’s only a matter of time until we get our first case and I’m pretty sure Jaha won’t be happy if the team doesn’t work. And as a leader, it surely will fall back onto you.”

“Coffee! I need coffee!”

Surprised at the desperate cry cutting off their conversation Lexa and Anya watched as Raven entered the kitchen, her hair still a mess. Amused, and in Anya’s case unamused, they followed the movements of the slightly younger woman until she arrived at the kitchen island and slumped down onto one of the barstools.

“Coffee, please.” Came the tired mumble barely audible.

Seeing as Anya seemed to show no mercy Lexa took pity and moved to get the brunette a cup of coffee. Anya kept her eyes on the brunette currently on her way to fall back asleep at their kitchen island. “Honestly, I’m rather surprised that you’re the first to arrive.”

“I have no troubles getting up in the morning if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

The blonde huffed at the weak retort. “Your previous cry for a certain brown hot liquid in a decent sized cup and your current body languages speaks volumes. Yeah, you’re right. You’re the picture perfect of a morning person.”

“Your sarcasm is too much before my first cup of coffee of the day.”

Before Anya could respond to Raven Lexa handed the coffee over to the sleepy brunette who immediately drunk some of it. “Alright you two, break it off.”

“I was just stating my wonderment of Reyes’ early rise, that’s all.”

Raven hummed at the taste of the black brew working its way through her system. “Well, if you are this dedicated to find the reason for it, I fell out of my bed and hit my head on the nightstand.”

Anya chuckled at that and looked back at Lexa, lifting her own cup back to her lips. “I take it back. I’m not really wondering about Reyes’ early _fall_.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if the bed is too small!”

“I’m pretty sure that our rooms are decorated the same, Raven. All of the beds have the same size and they’re big enough to manage to stay on it.” Lexa exclaimed beating Anya to it.

“Oh god, I can’t stand this wakefulness and plausibility this early in the morning.” Raven stated and got off from the chair, carefully carrying her coffee over to the elevator. The brunette heard Anya say something but the elevator doors were already closing after she had blindly pushed one of the buttons.

Drinking some more of her coffee Raven got off the elevator again and glanced confused around, at first not knowing where she had landed now. Maybe she should have just gotten back into bed instead of getting up. After a few seconds she recognized the training area she had yet to officially set foot in it. The brunette was about to turn back around and make the elevator take her up towards her room again when she heard a noise from further into the training area.

Curious of what it could be Raven followed the noise towards the back part of the level. Her eyes widened as she saw their latest addition to the team with a variety of knifes in her reach. The blonde had her back to her but Raven felt like the woman already knew that she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Why is everyone up already at this unholy time of the day?”

The blonde didn’t acknowledge her and just took hold of one of the knives. The blonde was the sole picture of concentration as she purely focused on a large target a few feet away already decorated with a few knives. It didn’t take long as Raven saw her exhale softly and quickly throwing the knife at the target, hitting it right in the middle.

“That’s boring without a real target.” Raven stated as she kept sipping her coffee.

“Are you volunteering?”

“Shutting up, got it.”

Raven took a seat on one of the wooden benches and contentedly watched the blonde pick up another knife. This was much better than the two too serious women up in the kitchen. Here she could enjoy her coffee while slowly waking up without too much conversation going on. She might be a certified genius, but sometimes her brain just needed a break. Meaning she liked to take her time in the morning before she was fully capable of engaging in highly complicated problem solving.

Brown eyes followed the flying knife and she was positively fascinated as she saw the knife lodging itself right next to the one the blonde had thrown before. “But so hot.”

A sigh rang through the rather silent training area and the blonde finally turned around to look at her. Other than herself, the blonde looked like she had been up for quite some time. And they didn’t even had a case yet. Raven dreaded the moment they did. She didn’t want to know how early they all had to rise each morning.

“Is there a reason for your presence other than just to annoy me?”

Raven bit her lip to keep the smirk from forming on her lips and conveniently put her cup back to her lips to drink a large sip of her coffee. So okay, just like Anya she did kind of enjoy annoying people. But maybe she shouldn’t further antagonize a dangerous looking woman in the midst of throwing sharp knives at a target.

The blonde just rolled her eyes and turned back to her target and picked up the next knife, happy to once again be covered in silence.

* * *

He parked the car at the side of the road and opened the seatbelt, yet didn’t get out of the car. His eyes surveyed the immediate area, taking in the people standing around, the current weather and time, the buildings close to the scene and all access points to the street and possible escape routes. His fingers moved to the cheap plastic cup filled with even cheaper coffee he had hastily bought on his way here.

Emptying the coffee, Bellamy Blake moved to grab his gloves from his glove box and opened the door of his unmarked car. As he walked to the crime scene he already put on his gloves, nodding at the officer who lifted the crime scene tape for Bellamy after a quick glance at his police badge secured at his hip.

The victim was sitting on a chair at one of the tables of the café that looked nice enough to serve better coffee than the one Bellamy had fetched on his way here. The man’s appearance was neat, classy pants, a nice shirt and a new looking leather jacket coupled with the carefully styled hair and the clean shaved face told Bellamy that he must be belonging to a higher class. Though Bellamy Blake had learnt not to pin down someone just based on their looks.

After all, looks could be deceiving.

The medical examiner glanced up as soon as Bellamy was close enough, nodding at the detective. “Blake.”

“Morning, Doc. What do you have for me this early of the day?”

“Jeremy Apos, age 33. Single bullet wound to the right side of his head, near the temple. Death occurred instantaneously. Poor guy, he certainly didn’t think that the last thing he’d do was drinking coffee.”

Detective Blake glanced around the area, his interest laid especially on the building on the opposite side. Oddly, this wasn’t the first case he had gotten thrown into his care. Two other people had been killed like this in the last month. “It was a planned execution.”

“It looks like it.” The examiner replied as his eyes also flickered over to the building on the other side. “I hate to say it…”

Blake groaned at that, knowing at what the man wanted to hint at. As much as he hoped he was wrong, the detective knew he wouldn’t be this lucky. “Then don’t.”

For just the smallest of moments the M.E. looked unsure of what he should do. Keeping his mouth shut or say the words out loud like Bellamy knew he would end up doing so. The man always had to have the last word.

“I think we have a serial killer on the loose.”

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've gotten so much positive feedback I tried to hurry with the next chapter.  
> Thanks guys for all of your kind words, it really motivated me.
> 
> Sorry if there are any mistakes. I wanted to finish the chapter as soon as possible.  
> It's already very late over here and I'm practically half asleep while finishing the chapter and posting it.
> 
> Enjoy :)

**Chapter 9**

“Can you show me how to do that?”

Clarke sighed as the brunette continued to converse with her, Clarke’s lack of response seemingly went unnoticed by the Latina. The brunette had kept talking throughout her time in the training area and continued to do so on the way up to the shared living space. The young woman was like a lost puppy. An annoying lost puppy that was trying to get the attention of its owner by barking and pulling on their pant leg.

“I’m not sure you’re made for this.”

“Why not? Would be so could if I could throw knives like that.”

“You need a certain level of concentration. I have yet to see you remaining silent and focusing on one thing for more than just a second.”

“I’ll have you know that I am fantastic at working focused and concentrated.” Raven huffed.

“I have a hard time imagining this.”

As soon as the elevator doors opened Clarke stepped out of the metal cage that felt smaller than she could remember. The others had obviously finally accomplished to get up as they were currently bustling in the kitchen with the last preparations of breakfast. Clarke urged her feet to continue towards the lot hoping to lose the brunette blabbermouth still following her.

“Good morning you two, you’re right on time for breakfast.” The tall man with more hair on his face than his head said as he saw the two coming towards them.

“Food! Gosh, I love you guys.” Raven exclaimed and rushed past Clarke to tackle the breakfast table. As annoying as she was, the blonde found the sight of Raven shoving as much food on her plate as she could while the boys watched flabbergasted rather amusing.

“Hey, we’ve briefly saw each other yesterday, but you were gone too fast for any introduction. I’m Lincoln Black, nice to meet you.”

While Clarke had been focusing on the tower of food on Raven’s plate she hadn’t noticed how the tall man – Lincoln – had moved closer to her. Despite his huge frame he radiated a certain calmness and softness. He was smiling friendly at her while waiting for her to shake his outstretched hand. After a beat she accepted it and replied with a brief smile of her own. “I’m Clarke Griffin, nice to meet you, too.”

“You should hurry, Clarke. I can’t guarantee that Raven won’t inhale the complete food all by herself. Looks like she’s at least trying to.” A smile formed on Lincoln’s lips which only widened as Raven replied something incomprehensible due to her mouth full of bacon.

“Oh, I already ate.”

“You did?” Lexa asked and there was something in her expression Clarke could identify as it was just a second before the brunette had schooled her features again. Clarke guessed that she wasn’t pleased of her trying to get out of spending time with the team – again.

“There’s a diner on my route. I’ll stop by after my morning run.”

But not only Lexa’s green eyes felt like they were drilling into her, she also sensed Octavia observing every movement she did. Of course there had to be a damn CIA agent on the team. She just couldn’t get a read on her, couldn’t tell if she recognized her or not. Well, she hadn’t tried to attack Clarke in her sleep yet, so that had to mean she didn’t know her, right? Or maybe she was just waiting for the right moment to strike. The blonde knew that the chances were pretty high that Octavia hadn’t heard of her or seen her before. The CIA was a very big agency. For all she knew Octavia could have been working in some back office sorting out old files.

“Which route are you taking?” The mountain of a man sitting next to Raven asked her. Clarke mused about his previous line of work for a moment. Maybe she should get in contact with one of her many associates to get some background information about the people she will be working and living with. She’d definitely feel better if she knew more about these people.

“I start with going down Lake Street. It’s a nice run this early of the day, almost no people are in the way. Further down I turn into Church Road and continue towards Polis Park. There’s a very good path through the park, around eight miles. I’ll leave the park on Pine Street. From there I slowly circle my way back here.” Clarke explained the route of her morning run. Of course she didn’t tell him that her route changes a little every day. It was always bad to develop a certain pattern. It left you at the mercy of anyone who may have set an eye on you and for people like Clarke that was very dangerous.

The big man who sported an impressive beard nodded his head as he thought about her words, no doubt mentally going over the route she had giving him. “Sounds really like a nice route. There are quite a few great trails in Polis Park. You should try them should you ever tire of your current one.”

The blonde was sure she’ll know every path in this park in a matter of days.

Catching the commander’s ever attentive stare while she and the others continued with their breakfast, Clarke thought it better to play nice to get her new boss off of her back. Putting on a smile, she lifted her hand and waved slightly. “Sorry I missed the introduction. Some of you I’ve already met during the short time I’ve been here already. For all the others, I’m Clarke Griffin. It’s nice to meet you and I’m sure we’ll have a great time working together.”

Damn, maybe she should have become an actress. She was not used to be overly nice and sweet towards others. Of course she had had to kiss some asses before, but overall the line of work she was working in led her to rather rougher people. But that was in the past, right? She did all of this to try and find some kind of normality for her. Perhaps she should get used to smile more often, to be more open to others.

But after all of those years it was hard to open up. Clarke was too used to always keep things to herself. To not give away too many details. Those things would always end up used against her. Just because she was trying to do something good didn’t mean that she could just shed her cautiousness and knock down this wall she built that felt like the Great Wall of China.

However she had to start somewhere, and based on the softening of the commander’s stare she was on the right way. Clarke felt like she just earned some bonus points with her boss – not that it would help her much seeing that she probably started with a lot of bad points. It would take a while to reach the positive side.

“I’m Ryder Forrester, nice to meet you, too.” The huge bearded man introduced himself and Clarke found his name oddly fitting.

“I’m Monty Green. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Piped up a voice to Raven’s right. Monty had black longish hair and a clear Asian origin. Sitting in the midst of well-trained people made him stick out of the group and Clarke could easily identify his role as one of the computer specialists on the task force.

That left one person without a name.

The blonde woman watched her carefully as she had held back and kept eating her breakfast. While her stare wasn’t as challenging and stripping as Lexa’s or ever-knowing and distant as Octavia’s, the blonde’s was definitely somewhat annoying – literally. Clarke would describe it as pure annoyance. She almost thought that she won’t get a name out of her, at least not that easily, when suddenly her eyes flickered narrowly over to Lexa and Clarke could easily imagine a harsh kick to the shin of the blonde signaling for her to introduce herself.

This tells Clarke instantly that there was a shared backstory. Those two certainly knew each other better.

After a beat the stare off between the blonde and Lexa ended and the eyes of the still nameless woman rested on her again. Right before Clarke thought that the silence was getting awkward and tried to find the right excuse to leave the blonde finally spoke up. “Adams.”

“Anya….” Lexa leaned forward and yet again stared at the blonde, this time even more sternly than before.

The eye-roll that followed by the blonde felt like it belonged to her as if she did it regularly. “Anya Adams. You may call me Adams.”

Lexa sighed and gave up to get her friend to find her manners she must have stored away in the lowest of drawers and thrown the keys away. Anya was still staring at her but got back to eating her breakfast.

Fine, Clarke had more than enough experience with crude people. This was nothing new. But Clarke was very adept at pushing certain buttons and she permitted herself to be just as ignorant as the other blonde. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, _Anya_.”

The others were grinning secretly into their breakfast and, _aha_! There was even a slight tuck at Lexa’s lips. The scowl on Anya’s face was a nice bonus. Oh yeah, she knew exactly how to speak her language if she wanted to.

* * *

Bellamy Blake stared at all of the open files on his desk, searching for the one clue that could break this damn case wide open again. So far he had three victims who all died the same way. A single bullet to the head by a sniper. He had yet to find the one thing connecting those three victims and maybe even the killer. However, he couldn’t find any connections. As far as he knew the sniper just killed random people.

“Was there an explosion on your desk, Blake?”

“Stop it, Miller. Or there will be an explosion on your desk and it won’t be pretty.” Bellamy shot back and grinned at his colleague. Since he didn’t have a partner Nathan Miller was his go to guy. Whenever he needed back up he let him tag along. His boss was already on his case and urging him to take a partner, but Bellamy didn’t want to. He liked to work on his own.

Miller came up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders, squeezing a little. The dark skinned man looked up and saw the background picture of his computer and rolled his eyes. This man! All work, no break. If there wouldn’t be a wife waiting for him at home, Miller was sure that Bellamy would live in the prescient. “Oh, man! Can’t you find something nicer to look at?”

Confused Bellamy followed his friend’s glance and looked at the picture he had on his computer. There were pictures of some of the most wanted persons on his screen. He put it up to remind himself of why he was doing what he did, the reason of why he became a cop. He wanted to help putting away the bad guys and create a better life for others. Every time one of those people got caught, he granted himself one of the nicer bottles of wine and spent a nice evening with his wife, privately celebrating that there was one less dangerous criminal walking freely around. The next day he exchanged the picture with a new one.

Some may say that he was crazy. But those who really knew him knew that he was just dedicated. Maybe too dedicated at times.

“Why don’t you go home, huh? When was the last time you spent some time with your wife? You’re expecting a baby, you should spent as much alone time with Gina as you still can, bro.”

A smile formed on Bellamy’s lips as he thought about his beautiful wife and the little life she was carrying inside of her. He never thought it possible, but he really found his other half. And he can’t wait to tackle the challenges of parenthood with her.

Suddenly he felt the urge to be with his wife. He hadn’t seen her since he was called to the crime scene of the second victim. He only went home for a quick shower and a change of clothes and Gina hadn’t been home each time. They only had exchanged two short phone calls and a few text messages. Miller was right, he had to get away from all of this. A few hours with his wife and some sleep and then he could get back to work with a fresh set of eyes.

* * *

After breakfast the team cleaned up and went their ways. Raven and Monty were off to the base getting themselves familiar with their computer system. It was only a question of time until they got their first case and they all wanted to be ready for it. The others were preparing themselves for some friendly sparring. Ryder, Octavia and Lincoln already made their way to the training area while Lexa and Anya took their time to join them.

“Where’s Griffin?” Lexa asked her friend as she noticed that she hadn’t seen the blonde since breakfast.

“Don’t know,” Anya shrugged, swinging her towel over her shoulder and picking up a water bottle. “I think she left the building a while ago.”

Of course she did. Lexa thought that today would be different. She had seen that she had tried at breakfast and really thought that she’d reduce her loner attitude. The brunette had hoped to get more information out of her. But much to her dismay Clarke Griffin wanted to remain a wild card.

If she couldn’t get the information she wanted and needed from the source she had to find other ways.

“Are you coming?” Anya asked as she stepped into the elevator waiting for her friend.

“I’ll be there in a sec. Go ahead and warm up, you know you’ll need it.”

Lexa heard her friend grumbling something as the elevator doors closed but she couldn’t hear it well enough to understand it. Knowing her blonde friend it wasn’t anything nice. She grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and dialed the number, surprising herself that her fingers moved without hesitation. It only rung twice until the call got picked up. _“Yeah?”_

“Hey, I need a favor.”

_“The mighty Lexa Woods asking for a favor? Now I’m curious. Shoot.”_

Lexa rolled her eyes as his antics. Some things never change. “Could you check a name for me?”

_“That’s it? That’s all you want?”_

“Can you do it or not?” The brunette replied annoyed.

_“Sure. What’s the name?”_

“Clarke Griffin.”

* * *

 

 


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wanted to put much more into this chapter but our two lovely ladies took over and ran with it.  
> So here you have the yet longest chapter as of this date completely filled with Clarke and Lexa.  
> Hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 10**

After many years of getting little sleep during the nights Clarke was used to getting up way before the sun rose for a new day. Sleep was only something she had to endure to keep functioning. If she hadn’t looked after her sleeping schedule she would have died a long time ago. Too much time spent sleeping meant losing precious time she needed to take care of her latest assignment, while too less sleep meant a chance of inattention and slow reflexes. Something she couldn’t accept.

Now, after her time as a hostage in Africa the few hours she spent sleeping were disturbed by nightmares and restlessness, which annoyed her to no end. It hadn’t been the first time in captivity after all. She had been in equally bad situations before and never once did she let it get to her. Clarke just couldn’t understand why she had troubles finding sleep now. What was different this time?

Every night Clarke turned the lights off, laid down in her bed and closed her eyes she was back in this hell again, with too much sun and itchy sand all over her from laying down on the hard ground of the shed she had been kept in. The urge to get up to take a run in the cool night air followed by a satisfying shower and a big bottle of water was never as strong as it was during the night. The fact that she couldn’t lock her damn door didn’t help either. Her gun was always close-by, ready for whomever might dare to sneak into her room without her permission.

Honestly, Clarke was convinced that she’ll end up shooting one of her team members who were just too curious for their own good.

All of those facts led to Clarke getting even less sleep just so she could get up and take her run in the morning. Of course the rational part of her knew that she couldn’t run away from her problems, though she always felt better. During the day she could keep herself occupied enough not to think about these things.

Was it healthy? Probably not. But until she could figure out how to deal with those things this was the new normal for Clarke.

Opening her door as quietly as possible Clarke silently made her way over to the elevator and pushed the button to open the door. The blonde was happy that this model was one of the ones working without making too much noises. She wasn’t eager to wake the others in the middle of the night. Reyes was annoying enough if she wanted to be, she didn’t want to meet a cranky Reyes anytime soon.

It only took her a few seconds to reach the base and moved through the dark space. She already knew the room well enough to move around without needing some light to guide her. Darkness had never bothered her. Some might say that she was a shadow herself, melting into the darkness. Some of her victims had never even noticed her until it had been too late.

“You get up later than I thought.”

Clarke whipped around and instinctively reached for the knife secured in a safe place who no one could see it without searching actively for weapons. Before she could react further and maybe do something drastic to the other person a small light was turned on, her fingers letting go of the handle of the knife and her muscles relaxed a bit when she noticed that it was just Commander Woods sitting on one of the chairs in the corner of the room, looking like she waited for something.

Or someone.

“Still way earlier than the others.” Clarke shrugged, hoping that Lexa hadn’t noticed that she had been about to be attacked by a highly skilled assassin. Not that she faulted the commander for her lack of knowledge, but Clarke would advise anyone to never surprise an assassin. The chances that it wouldn’t end well was high.

“True. You ready?”

Okay, did she miss something? Had she gotten some memo about a meeting which might have gotten lost on the way to her? Probably appearing more confused as she liked to let the brunette know, Clarke couldn’t help but ask. “Ready for what exactly?”

“For our morning run.”

“ _Our_ morning run? You’re joining me?”

This time it was Lexa who shrugged matter-of-factly. The brunette got up from the chair and closed some of the distance to the blonde. “I could use the work out.” Clarke couldn’t hold back a scoff at that. Commander Lexa Woods was certainly one of the last persons who _could use_ a work out. Clarke may be closed off and hadn’t spent a lot of time with the brunette, but the blonde did have eyes and prided herself for her mindfulness to even the smallest of details. “Besides, like Ryder said the route is a nice one. I’ve been gone for a long time. I’d love to use this chance to get familiar with Polis again.”

Clarke didn’t buy it one bit. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the other woman before her. She was dressed in clothes suiting for a run in the cool air. Not too thick but not too light either. The blonde had no idea how long the commander had sat here waiting for her. Alone the fact that she had waited for her told Clarke that her boss had some ulterior motive. But she couldn’t do anything but wait and see what the other woman might do.

“Alright. Though fair warning, if you lack behind I won’t wait up.”

There was a little purse of those full lips as the brunette’s left brow lifted, staring almost challengingly back at her. “Fair warning, if _you_ lack behind _I_ won’t wait up.”

Alright, challenge accepted.

The run started at a normal pace, Clarke wasn’t in a hurry seeing as she did this every morning to enjoy the feeling of freedom she got every time she ran. On her runs, the journey itself was her reward and not some best time. Hearing all the different noises on her run, the smells of nature when she entered the park while feeling the difference in the terrain under her feet, her accelerated heartbeat and the slight burn in her lungs towards the end of her run. All those things that made her feel alive.

Though the ever steady presence of a certain brunette was a tad irritating.

Since they started with their run the commander had yet to say anything to her. The other woman just kept up with her pace, not directly running next to Clarke but she always stayed just two feet behind her. She was giving the blonde the lead. If not the puffs of air and the sound of the second pair of feet behind her, Clarke may think that she was running on her own.

Strangely the whole thing didn’t bother Clarke as much as she had thought. She wouldn’t say she liked it, but she didn’t hate the brunette’s presence either. The only thing that she still mused over however were the reasons for her boss accompanying her. The fact that this was a way to get the blonde alone without the others listening in was the only thing she could think of. But the brunette had yet to signal the blonde that she’d like to have some choice words with her.

As much as she enjoyed this run Clarke picked up her pace around the half of the route wanting to push the commander. The blonde never once glanced behind her, not that she needed to as she had felt Lexa picking up her pace to.

After a beat however Lexa obviously wanted to return the favor and made good on her threats from before as she once again picked up her pace and passed Clarke, certainly trying to push _her_. Lips curling slightly upwards the blonde pushed herself to keep up with the commander now running in front of her. There was no mistaking, Lexa wanted her to eat her words.

Clarke thought about letting the woman stay ahead and just follow her, but that wasn’t what she wanted. This was certainly a challenge and she had never been one to back down from one. She didn’t know how well Lexa knew her way around Polis Park. It had sounded like she grew up here as well but hadn’t been here in quite a while. However Clarke had spent the last few mornings memorizing her way around the park.

With that in mind she let Lexa gaining on the distance to her, slowly edging towards her right. There was a little path further ahead Clarke was aiming to. It wasn’t used as much as the other one causing it to be more uneven and not as clean. There were more stones and branches laying around but Clarke was used to improvise. If she stayed focused she shouldn’t have any problems staying clear of those hindrances and keep her current pace, if not push it even more.

The path itself wasn’t a short cut per se but more of a hiking trail. While Lexa continued on the path made for running as it was an evenly trail, Clarke’s one first went up before it will go downwards later on. If she was able to keep her pace upwards and also manage the downwards part with this pace, she should enter Lexa’s trail again just a beat before her. Of course only if Lexa didn’t further speed up her pace.

The blonde felt every step in her bones, the ground was even more uneven as she remembered. Perhaps her fast pace was at fault for this as she hadn’t been this fast when she had used the trail the last time. When she finally reached the highest point of the trail Clarke’s legs burned due the extra exertion of going up instead of at ground level. But while the upwards part was the more exhausting one, the downwards part was more dangerous. She had to watch the terrain even more carefully to avoid stumbling or even falling. Clarke wouldn’t give Lexa the satisfaction of knowing that it took only one run with the commander to end up sidelined for some time – especially not without even having worked on a case yet.

More jumping over things than running she made her way down without any incidents. She had to slow down a little or else she would have rolled down. The blonde could already see the other path Lexa was using ahead of her. Finally having the steepest part of the trail behind her Clarke didn’t waste any time picking up her speed again. She couldn’t see anyone walking or running on the path since the view was mostly covered by bushes. Hoping that no one was around the corner Clarke rushed onto the path and took a sharp turn to the left and towards the exit of the park.

Clarke didn’t dare to look back to try and localize Lexa and thankfully she didn’t have to as she could hear the unmistakable sound of a surprised intake of someone behind her as well of a set of feet picking up pace. The blonde smiled at that – much to her own surprise.

She, Clarke Griffin, had actually _fun_.

They slowed down once they left the park and it didn’t take much longer until they came to a stop in front of the only diner on their route back home. Catching up their breath, Lexa narrowed her eyes at Clarke and the blonde had to fight off the smile that threatened to form on her lips at the clear look of indignation on her face.

“You cheated!”

“No, I did not.” Clarke let out an airy laugh. _Okay Clarke, reign it in a bit_ , the blonde thought. “You need rules to be able to cheat. We didn’t set any, Commander.”

“You play dirty.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Clarke breathed but it was too quiet for Lexa to hear the words as she took in the diner in front of them.

“This is where you get your breakfast every morning?”

“Yeah. Nothing fancy, but the coffee is acceptable and they make a mean French toast.”

“Alright, let’s give it a try. Breakfast is on you, cheater.” Nodding, Lexa pushed past Clarke and opened the door to the diner.

Rolling her eyes Clarke just followed her boss silently into the diner. She learnt a long time ago to pick out her battles. In her mind it would be totally unnecessary to start a discussion over who was paying for breakfast. She’ll survive it, after all it was not like this would be a daily occurrence…..right?

Stepping inside the diner they were immediately hit by smells of coffee and breakfast food. It was still pretty early meaning that there weren’t a lot of other people here. Actually, there were only three other people in the diner. One man and one woman sat in the far corner, each a huge plate of pancakes in front of them with their own coffee pot on the table. Clarke had a feeling that they weren’t used to be up this early in the day and the waitress probably took pity on them.

The third person, a man, sat on one of the chairs at the counter with one big cup of coffee in front of him. The blonde studied him as she walked by him, not once getting a glimpse of his face as he kept his head down and the old and worn-out baseball cap was covering up his face.

The assassin in her accessed the area and rated the two in the back as no possible threats and chose to sit with her back to them, keeping the man and the entrance in her line of view. Old habits die hard, after all. Lexa instantly took the seat opposite of her.

“Cozy.”

“Practical.” Clarke replied as this was the more accurate reason of her coming here every morning. The diner was on her way back and like previously stated, the food and coffee wasn’t all that bad.

“Good morning, Sweetheart. I see you brought a friend today.” The waitress greeted them.

“Yeah, she wanted to join me on my run this morning.” Clarke replied friendly.

Meghan, their waitress, was a sweet fifty year old woman having worked here every morning since Clarke had started coming here. Meghan had told her that she preferred the early hours as those meant less interaction with customers. People nowadays more often than not forgot their manners at home and were more and more unfriendly while rushing to work.

“How was your run this morning?”

“It was…interesting.” Clarke glanced at Lexa at her last word who just replied with an unimpressed lift of her brow, though kept silent.

“That’s nice to hear, Dear. Shall I get you your usual?”

Creating habits were always a safety hazard though sometimes Clarke just couldn’t help herself, so the blonde just smiled and nodded at Meghan. “Yes, please.”

“Great. And what shall I get you, Sweety?”

“I’ll take a coffee and some pancakes, thanks.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back with your drinks. Food should be coming in a bit, too.” With that Meghan retreated back behind the counter to work on their coffee and organizing the food for them.

Once again Clarke’s eyes flickered over to the man at the counter to take him in. There was something familiar about him but she couldn’t put her finger on it. He still kept his face slightly tilted away from them. There wasn’t anything in front of him, nothing he may read so Clarke guessed his attention was on the ongoing inside the diner. The blonde’s view got blocked by Meghan who smiled at them and put down the coffee in front of them and made her way back to the counter no doubt waiting for the kitchen to signal that their breakfast was ready to be delivered to their table.

Blue eyes focused back on the woman in front of her and found the green eyes of the commander staring back at her. “What?”

“Nothing,” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just that I couldn’t picture you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Nice, chatting friendly with the waitress. Things like that.”

“I’m not a monster. I do have manners, and I do talk to people – contrary to popular belief.”

“Well, you had yet to prove me otherwise. Good to know that you don’t seem like a lost cause, then.”

_Ouch_ , okay maybe she deserved this. She _did_ keep her distant to the others after all. Clarke didn’t reply and chose to let the current topic come to an end as she picked up her coffee and took a sip of the hot beverage. Her eyes focused on the precise work of Lexa’s long fingers as they neatly tore off the closed sugar bags and put quite a bit in her coffee. Lexa must have noticed her surprised expression and just shrugged. “What? I like to start my mornings with some sweetness. Any problems with that?”

“No, just didn’t peg you to belong to the kind of people who drink sugar with coffee instead of their coffee with sugar.”

“Please, it wasn’t that much.”

“Yeah, right.” Clarke replied sarcastically.

“There’re you go, girls.” Meghan said, putting their food in front of them.

Clarke immediately attacked her French toast, engulfing in one of her few guilty pleasures. What was more surprising however was that Lexa equally enthusiastically dug in into her breakfast. The brunette let out a satisfied moan after the first bite that was almost bordering on sounding dirty.

“Pancakes was definitely one of the things I dearly missed while being on tours.”

“Sometimes the simple things are the best ones in life.”

“That’s true.”

At the rate they were eating their food it didn’t take long for them to finish. Clarke paid for their breakfast and followed Lexa towards the front door. She made a quick stop at the counter to hand Meghan a generous tip, trying one last time to get a glimpse on the man’s face sitting directly next to where she was standing but he coincidently was just drinking from his cup. She did see a little more of his face and the feeling of knowing in the pit of her stomach grew, though she still couldn’t place him.

They walked the short way back to the shared building, neither interested in running with full bellies. There were more people walking by than when they had started their run. The whole time there wasn’t much talking between them and Clarke once again thought about the reasons of Lexa’s decision of joining her on her run.

As it was, Clarke didn’t had to wait too much longer as the brunette stopped short after entering the base. The commander didn’t have to say anything for Clarke to know that this was it, the whole reason their shared morning will come to light and Clarke just thought about why she had waited this long. She could have just waited for her upon her return after her run instead of joining her.

Lexa exhaled and squared her shoulders, slowly turning around to face the other woman. “I’d like to talk to you before disappear again.”

“I already guessed that there was something behind all this.”

“I don’t think you fit into this team.”

Well, at least the commander didn’t beat around the bush. Clarke preferred directness instead of stumbling over words. And even if this statement irked her, Clarke could see the truth in it. She had never once given the impression that she was a team player or as social as the others. She was the lone wolf the brunette obviously had troubles to reign in.

Instead of responding to Lexa’s statement the blonde remained silent as she felt like there was more to come.

“You’re closed off, wrap yourself in secrets and I honestly have no idea how I should deploy you as I have absolutely no information about your skills. And overall you don’t really seem interested in being part of this. If someone would ask me, I’d have you pack the little belongings you have and make you leave.”

Clarke just stared at the other woman, her face void of any emotions. Just like the brunette, Clarke had her mask perfectly in place and took in every word the brunette said. She tried to find some incorrectness yet everything Lexa had said was right and her reluctance of the blonde’s role in the task force was understandable in Clarke’s mind.

But Clarke had lots of experience with people and she could sense a _but_ coming from a mile away.

“But I briefly spoke to Governor Jaha about you and he seems to think highly of you. In his opinion you’re perfect for this job and I trust his judgement.” There was a small beat, a break for Lexa to collect her next words, maybe even thinking about how to voice them out. “So, this is how it’ll be from now on. You’ll be more involved with this team. You’ll train together and you’ll listen to my command when we work on cases. And I don’t care about where you are or what you are doing at that moment, when I call you I expect you to answer. At any time. You’ll drop everything. Work comes always first.”

She really should have expected this. It was no secret that the brunette wished for her to be more involved with the team. The rules for the times they were working on cases where fair enough. Clarke herself had always been all about work, so the commander’s worry about the possibility of Clarke being unhelpful and constantly missing was unfounded. Though the commander didn’t know that and it was obvious that she didn’t want to take any chances.

“One more thing.” Those green eyes kept staring intensively at her. “I absolutely don’t care that you’re friends with Governor Jaha. You could be friends with the president for all I care. If I continue to see you unfit for this task force or if you act out, I’ll throw you out myself. Am I clear?”

There was a moment were Clarke was almost hoping for the brunette to send her away. Clarke was not cut out for this kind of live. There was always only herself she had to look after. If the woman would throw her out of the task force Clarke could leave while still saying that she had tried. But she hadn’t tried, not really. And the moment was gone as quick as it came as she realized that she’d be just running again.

And she was tired of running.

So Clarke just clenched her teeth and inhaled softly. “Crystal clear.”

“Good.”

“Am I dismissed now, Commander?”

The brunette kept staring at her for a few seconds before she finally nodded, releasing Clarke to go on her way. Lexa hoped that her words got through the thick skull of the blonde and that things will be different from now on.

As soon as the blue-eyed woman disappeared behind the elevator doors Lexa got her cell phone from her pocket and dialed, eyes still on the elevator as if the blonde would re-emerge any second. _“Yeah?”_

“Any hits on the name I gave you?”

_“Geez, you just gave me the name yesterday.”_ Came the protest from the other side of the call.

“I know. Means you had some time to look into it.”

_“Slave driver. Could have said that it’s urgent.”_

Lexa smirked as she couldn’t help herself but tease her friend. “You should know by now that when I call it’s always urgent.”

_“I’ll have you know, you were really born to be a commander. You certainly live up to it.”_

“Did you find anything?” The brunette replied, turning the topic back to the reason for her call.

_“As of now? All I can say is that if she’s not ten feet under she might as well be.”_

At that Lexa frowned as she didn’t get what he meant by that. Couldn’t he just straight out list off all of the facts he had found? “What do you mean by that?”

_“There’s literally nothing about her. All I can say about her is that Clarke Abigail Griffin was born and raised in Polis. She’s been to Grounders Kindergarten, Arkadia Middle School and Polis High. Her childhood seemed pretty uneventful, no records of her ever acting out. Mommy dearest is a successful surgeon and her dad was a well-respected engineer.”_

“Was?” Lexa instantly picked out this little word.

_“Oh, yeah. That’s the only interesting thing I stumbled upon on my search. It’s actually one of the last things officially known about her. A real tragedy, let me tell you that. At age sixteen there was a break in that went wrong. An unknown man broke into her family home. Killed her father and the neighbor’s son. Griffin Junior was shot, too. Barely survived.”_

Shit, Lexa hadn’t seen _that_ coming. She had felt like there was something. There was this underlying sadness in those blue eyes telling her that there was a story deep down and safely tucked away. She felt for the blonde, having had to go through this at such a young age. “….and?”

_“And_ nothing _. She recovered for the next few months and it got silent on her.”_

Lexa shook her head unbelieving. This couldn’t be all there was. “There has to be something.”

_“Look, there’s nothing about her after that. At least not officially. She just kinda disappeared.”_

Lexa could feel the annoyance building inside of her. Sure she finally knew something about the blonde, but this wasn’t really the information she was after. The tragedy in Clarke Griffin’s youth didn’t help her in any way and she didn’t want to snoop too much into that. That was Clarke’s story and she didn’t feel comfortable enough to dig out old wounds. Although this tragedy may explain why the woman was closed off. “Alright, keep looking for information. No one disappears without a trace. Not even dead people do.”

_“She’s a ghost!”_

Green eyes once again flickered over to the elevator and the spot Clarke Griffin had been mere moments ago. “No, she’s very much human.”

* * *

 

 


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The hall Lexa was walking through was bright and very neat. Maybe even too neat. The ground was covered by a carpet, the walls were painted in a light brown and the different doors on each side were in a beautiful dark brown and looked like expensive wood-work. There were no signs of life.

The brunette liked tidiness, her things were always very organized. They have been since high school much to her parents’ joy. They never had to tell her to clean up her room. Besides her wild character she had been the perfect daughter. But even for her this was too much.

Though Lexa guessed that she shouldn’t expect anything less from the office of a governor.

She had gotten a call from Governor Jaha’s secretary an hour after she had returned from her run and breakfast with Clarke. She didn’t tell her much but Lexa had a feeling that things finally started rolling.

Lexa could almost smell the fabric of the file on Jaha’s desk, containing all information about their very first case. The feeling of the many papers in the file with all the facts. She literally couldn’t wait to tackle their first case.

The hall opened up to a well-lit room, four comfy looking armchairs were standing in one half of the room while the other was occupied by a big desk of what must be the secretary Lexa had talked to on the phone. The woman had long curly brown hair and chocolate eyes. A smile broke out on her lips as she noticed Lexa entering the room.

“Hello. How can I help you?”

Lexa smiled as she recognized the voice. Definitely the secretary. “Hi, I’m Commander Woods. We’ve talked on the phone this morning.”

“Ah, yes!” The brunette secretary smiled as Lexa identified herself, showing her badge with her ID for the second time today, the first being at the entrance with the security check. “It’s nice to meet you in person, Commander. If you would just take a seat, I’ll inform the Governor of your arrival.”

It didn’t take too long until Lexa was called into Jaha’s office. Just like the secretary’s office, this one was well-lit by the many windows that let the sun in. The desk of the Governor was made out of a dark wood and stood proudly in the middle of the room. There was a seating area in the right corner of the room and different shelves and cupboards lining up the walls. There was some expensive and colorful art around the room, trying to give a relaxing atmosphere.

“Commander Woods, it’s great to see you!” Governor Jaha exclaimed as he stood from his office chair and walked around his desk to greet the brunette.

“Well, when your boss is asking for you, you don’t ignore the call, right?”

Jaha laughed at that and motioned for Lexa to take a seat before he sat down himself. “That’s true. Tell me, Commander, how is it going with the team so far?” The Governor looked like he wanted to say more, but he remained silent. But the brunette guessed that he was curious of the things going on within the newly formed unit.

Lexa let her gaze wander around the room, trying to find anything that looked like a case file, her excitement getting the better of her. Though the desk was almost empty safe for the scattered papers lying on it. Jaha hadn’t anything in his hands as he had greeted her and on the little table in front of her wasn’t lying anything either. Maybe it was in one of the drawer? It would make sense seeing that no one would have some sensible information just lying around in the open.

“It’s good. It had been a little bumpy in the beginning, but that would have been to be expected, right? It takes some time to form a group of strangers into a well-working team.”

“Of course, I don’t expect any miracles from you, Commander. Those kind of things take some time. That’s the reason why I haven’t assigned you on a case yet.” Jaha answered as he leant back in his seat.

Lexa nodded. “I already thought so. Though, I have to say that the team is itching for something to do.”

“And they shall get something to do.”

Lexa let out a relieved breath, finally the official confirmation that they could get started. There was only a certain amount of time she could sit back and relax until she had to do something productive. She was eager to dive into their case.

“The team will be happy to work on our first case, Sir.” The brunette Commander replied, hoping that her eagerness wasn’t being noticed by the man sitting opposite of her. She was known to remain calm and level-headed in the worst situations. Oh, how her professionalism had suffered from her time off. The brunette felt like a little kid on Christmas morning.

“Good. The situation is a little delicate, if I may say so.” Governor Jaha began and leant forward, his forearms on his thighs and all traces of his relaxed self from a second ago gone. The tense posture and serious tone made Lexa sit up a bit straighter immediately. “We have two victims so far. Both male, the first a week and a half ago and the second three days ago. So far, it looks like the work of a sniper. The kills are very precise with no traces towards the one behind this and the PPD is still in the dark. And that’s the problem. I can’t have a sniper running wild, Commander.”

“I understand, Sir.” Lexa replied her mind already going into different directions and thinking of ways to approach this case to accomplish a quick arrest of the sniper.

“I knew you would. I already arranged for you to pick up the case files and the little evidence the PPD was able to collect tomorrow morning. The detective assigned to this case is Bellamy Blake.” _Bellamy Blake_. The name rang a bell and Lexa guessed that it must be Octavia’s brother. She had already told the team that she had an older brother working for the PPD and Lexa was sure that there weren’t a lot of Bellamy Blake’s out there working for the PPD. “I heard that he wasn’t happy about you taking over, but I’ve already spoken to his Captain. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to have everything ready for you right know, but I only got informed about this case this morning and everything was arranged short notice.”

“That’s no problem. We’ll pick everything up first thing in the morning and will start working on the case immediately.”

Governor Jaha nodded obviously satisfied with the Commander’s answer and got up on his feet, Lexa followed his example a beat later. “I hope that the sniper will be off our streets soon, Commander. I’m confident that your team will be able to handle this one. Well, I don’t want to keep you any longer.” While he spoke Jaha already moved back towards his desk and was about to sit back down to continue with whatever he had been working on when Lexa had arrived, when he noticed that the brunette hesitated at the door. “Is there something on you mind you’d like to share, Commander Woods?”

Lexa remained silent as she pondered over her next words. She had wanted to speak about this with the Governor for quite some time now but up until now there hadn’t been a chance for her to voice her troubles.

“If you have any second thoughts it may be best to voice them now instead of keeping silent.”

“It’s not that.” Lexa breathed and fully turned back towards the Governor who stood behind his desk, waiting patiently for whatever the female commander wanted to discuss with him. “It’s about Griffin.”

There. She said it, just like that. No beating around the bush.

Lexa already knew that Griffin and the Governor knew each other for quite some years now and he had hand-picked her for the team, so she wasn’t surprised at the slight freeze of the man in front of her, brief as it was. Lexa already thought about how to approach the topic so that she may finally get some answers.

“What about Griffin?” Jaha asked and held his breath, waiting for the answer he had feared to hear the moment Clarke had accepted the position. She was gone, wasn’t she? Maybe he should’ve checked in with her and made sure that everything was alright.

“I have absolutely no information about her and she’s not very….forthcoming, if you know what I mean.”

After what felt like an eternity Jaha let out the breath, chuckling quietly to himself at this. That meant that Clarke was still there and still giving this whole thing a try. It had been his intention to keep the Commander in the dark about Clarke, having wanted to see if the blonde woman would open up herself a little bit to her boss and fellow team members. But maybe he had been too optimistic. Old habits die hard and he shouldn’t have expected for Clarke to pull a 180 and be her old bubbly self. No, as far as he knew the old Clarke was long gone and he had to accept that.

Still, he had promised Clarke he wouldn’t say anything about her past. And he was a man of his word. Jaha took a few seconds to form a vague answer that would satisfy the Commander for now. “I guess you want to know about her qualification, am I right?”

“That would help knowing how to use her skills rightfully, yes.”

“Well, she speaks a variety of different languages. She’s also a very quick thinker. That makes her a perfect candidate for undercover work. She’s very good in close combat and probably one of the best sniper I’ve heard of. Her skills are highly trained and I think she’s an excellent fit for the team.”

“She’s not really a team player.”

“She used to work on her own. For years. Being integrated into a team and sharing personal information won’t come that easily, which is completely understandable.” Jaha assured her and Lexa thought he had a point. If Griffin really worked alone in the last few years it really was only understandable that she had to get used to working in a team.

“Of course. Though, if I had known this fact before I would have been able to approach this issue differently.” Lexa couldn’t help but send a slight scolding Governor Jaha’s way. She was in charge of the team and therefore had to know all critical information about them.

“Clarke Griffin was a desired candidate on my part. It had been very uncertain if she’d be available for the position. At first she wasn’t really interested in it. But I know her, so I gave her a chance and waited a bit longer until I’d have started to consider other people for the position.”

“Yeah, I already heard that she had gone to school with your son.”

This time the surprised look on Jaha’s face wasn’t that hard to notice. His eyes widened a fraction and he inhaled sharply albeit almost silently. Although Lexa didn’t understand why he had such a strong reaction to this information.

Jaha thought about what he had just heard. Commander Woods had just revealed that she knew about his history with Clarke, that she knew about his son and Clarke. While it wasn’t a secret that Jaha had had a son which had been killed some years ago, he had never talked openly about it. Not once. That resulted in the fact, that his son was almost forgotten by the citizen.

No, not forgotten. That was a wrong use of word. His son had just wandered to the back of the people’s minds. It wasn’t the first thing the people associated him with. And he preferred it that way, because even after so many years he still couldn’t let go and talking about him openly in interviews and being constantly reminded of his death would tear him apart sooner rather than later.

This way, he at least was able to function and serve his country.

And while he couldn’t help his son anymore, he at least could try and help his son’s best friend and his god-daughter.

Seeing that his son wasn’t the first topic people sprung to while talking about their Governor, it could only mean that the Commander had gotten this information straight from the source, Clarke herself. And if Clarke really told Woods this detail about her past, this tiny yet critical detail, meant that she might be on the right path now. Perhaps he had made the right choice with Clarke.

Maybe, there was finally some light at the end of the tunnel.

“Yeah, they were pretty close. Best friends, to be exact. It hit her just as hard as it did me when my son had been killed.” If not more, after all she had been _there_. Had been through the drama of watching her father and Wells getting killed right in front of her eyes while also fighting for her own life.

At that, Lexa was shocked. “Your son was killed?!”

Okay, maybe Clarke didn’t tell the commander the whole story after all. Or maybe she had just guessed that the other woman knew about this fact. Either way it made Jaha uncomfortable. Perhaps he should have just confirmed the fact and not dive right into the topic of his son’s death.

“Yeah. Unfortunately my son left this planet all too soon.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Lexa replied, not knowing how to respond. She hadn’t expected this turn, though now she may understand why the blonde woman had spoken of the Governor’s son in past tense. She had just automatically expected that they had drifted apart. That wasn’t uncommon for high school friends.

And of course it showed her how little she actually knew about her new boss. Perhaps she should start collecting information about the Governor, too, especially seeing that he somewhat shared a past with Clarke.

“I know that you have been deployed for quite some time and that you are familiar with death, but having lost my son showed me that you should always cherish what you have. You never know when it’s gone.” Jaha advised somberly and he was right. Death was nothing new to her.

Especially in war zones it was not uncommon to lose comrades. Fellow soldiers you had just shared a meal with could be gone in the next moment. Lexa had been at some dark places, had seen parts of the ugliest faces of the world. She already knew to keep her loved ones close and enjoy the time she had left with them, because one of them will always be gone way too soon. The only thing one could hope for then was that they had a long and great life and leave this earth in peace.

Jaha straightened up once again and smiled at her, clearly ready to move onto another topic. “Well, enough with this sentimental talk. I believe you have to inform the team that you have a sniper to catch, right?”

“Right. They will be ecstatic.”

“Great. If there should be any troubles you can call me any time, Commander. I mean it. I want this to work and you have my full support.”

“That’s good to know, thanks.”

With that Lexa turned around as Jaha moved back to his desk. The brunette smiled at the secretary as she once again started moving through those spotless and almost royal-looking halls, this time with a faster pace and finally a new purpose. She was determined to solve this case as quick as possible and bring this sniper down.

Let the chase begin.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it took so long to post the next chapter. Life got time-consuming with a nasty cold, a two week vacation (I've been to Tallinn, Estonia and can only recommend it to visit it! Tallinn is such a beautiful city and the Estonian are very lovely people!) and the move of my brother took up quite some time. I hope you can forgive me. I already mapped out the next chapter and started with it. I can promise you that it won't be weeks again until I'll be able to post the next chapter! Until then, stay safe and enjoy life :)


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, got longer than I thought it would. Enjoy!

**Chapter 12**

Clarke softly bit on her lower lip as she rubbed her neck nervously with her left hand. Over the years she had done things she wasn’t proud of. Most of those things had been highly illegal and would have deserved a high punishment – if not even her death. During the execution of those things she had been many things; frustrated, angry, calm, annoyed, sad, ashamed, surprised, indifferent, vengeful, rueful, miserable and many more emotions she had lived through.

But never once had she been nervous.

And now here she stood, between green bushes and in front of a common wooden door, feeling like a little girl and totally nervous.

Once again the blonde was reminded that there was a first for everything – even for a simple thing like being nervous.

Clarke didn’t know how long she had already been here, pacing the little entrance path up and down, contemplating if she should knock on the door or just leave. Twice now she had stood directly in front of the door, fist raised to knock only to change her mind in the next second and distance herself from the door again. She began to not only feel nervous but also annoyed by herself.

In her right hand was a little bag. She had spent more time on shopping for an appropriate present than she liked to admit. The blonde had dragged herself all over the city for the better part of the day as she had difficulties deciding on what to get Nyko and his fiancée. She couldn’t show up empty-handed.

In the end she had ended up surprising herself as she bought a variety of colors and a little canvas, found a secluded spot in the park and drew. Clarke didn’t know when it had been the last time she had drawn something just because she wanted to. It must have been before all this happened, before her world got thrown out of its axis.

The blonde was worried that after all this time her skills had suffered and that she wasn’t able to come up with something light and colorful as her life revolved mostly in darkness. Yet, for the second time in a day she surprised herself as she had no troubles coming up with a nice picture. It showed two silhouettes, a woman and a man, in the new morning sun. In front of them was a nice path through the forest, the sun not yet reaching all the way so that the path further ahead was still concealed by the dark.

Clarke intended for the morning sun to represent hope. Hope for a new beginning, the beginning of a new section of life which the couple the silhouettes were from would start walking together instead of alone. The darkened path was to show that the future was still unknown, but as they follow further down this path, the sun will rise higher and higher and their future would be revealed bit by bit while all the way being at each other’s side and having each other’s back.

It wasn’t a masterpiece by all means, but it was better than any cheap coffee cup or cushions one could by as a present.

And the picture wasn’t just a sign for a union of two people, but also a sign that perhaps her soul wasn’t completely lost to the darkness. For Clarke, this picture meant hope for a better future.

“You planning on coming in any time soon or would you rather continue wearing down the path leading to the house?”

Clarke tensed up when she heard the male voice sounding from the entrance of the house from behind her. Great, now she wasn’t just nervous and annoyed but also deaf. Normally she would have noticed the opening of the door the moment the door handle was pushed down.

The blonde inhaled calmly before she turned around and met the amused stare of her old friend, Nyko. Arms folded together the man leant against the door frame while watching her carefully. Clarke had no idea how long Nyko had already known of her presence in his entrance area.

“Nyko.”

“Just so you know, if there is the slightest recess on my path you will be the one correcting it again. It had taken me a whole weekend to finish the path.”

Oh great, embarrassment was added to the pot. Now Clarke not only felt like a little child which didn’t know what to do, but a scolded little child at that. She urged herself not to look down and inspect the ground.

“I had a feeling that you wouldn’t just knock on the front door and come in like a normal person would do, so I thought I’d check the front porch.” Nyko smiled at her and she couldn’t help but return it. In the end, Nyko was always one of those persons that could make her feel like herself. She didn’t feel the need to be someone she wasn’t. He knew her, all of her. The best and the worst and he still accepted her. There was no disgust, mistrust or any other emotion in his eyes that made her feel like she wasn’t welcomed. And Clarke was grateful to be able to call this huge teddy bear a friend.

“I just wanted to officially congratulate you to your engagement and give you a present.”

“Why don’t you come in?” Nyko asked and motioned for her to come inside. Different voices from inside drifted out to them. It wasn’t too loud but there certainly seemed to be quite a few people inside celebrating with the happy couple.

Clarke hesitated, her eyes briefly moving over Nyko’s shoulder to peer inside. She couldn’t see much, only a wardrobe with lots of coats hanging from it and a long hall probably leading up to the living room currently filled with celebrating people. The blonde couldn’t help but feel out of place. She didn’t want to ruin the mood with her uncomfortableness. “I can’t.”

“You mother isn’t here if that’s the reason. She’s at the hospital.”

“There might still be someone in there who might recognize me and inform my mom about me.” It was easier to go along with the excuse Nyko had given her than delve deeper into her feelings about happiness and crowds.

“Clarke,” Nyko sighed and moved away from the door and closer to her, reaching out until his arm laid protecting over her shoulders. Slowly he led her towards the house and Clarke let him. “Stop thinking so much for a minute and come in. Eat and drink something. See it like an engagement present for me.”

“I already have a present for you.” Clarke replied with a small voice while lifting the roundish package in her right hand.

“You’re presence is all I could wish for, Little Girl.”

Reluctantly Clarke got out of her coat and watched how Nyko hung it carefully to the other coats on the wardrobe before closing the front door, making the decision to join the celebration a final one. There she stood, once again nervously biting her lower lip while clinging to the package. Only this time she was standing inside the house instead of outside. The voices were clearer and if she would concentrate on them she was sure she could hear the conversations without a problem.

But Clarke had enough of feeling this insecure just because she wasn’t used to this kind of things; conversing with others about day to day things, laughing about jokes, happily celebrating with others. So in the few seconds Nyko had his back to her Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath, channeling her inner calmness and tried to put on the best smile she could manage.

For Nyko.

She’d do anything for her friend.

“Hey, Babe. Where have you been?”

Clarke’s eyes focused on a beautiful brunette woman coming from one of the rooms smiling brightly at them and based on the adoration in her hazel eyes the blonde guessed that this must be the bride-to-be.

“I had to save our porch from getting turned into a moat.” Nyko joked as he bumped his shoulder into Clarke’s while she willed the flush to stay away from her cheeks. _What a first impression, thanks Nyko_. “Echo, I’d like you to meet Clarke. Clarke, this is Echo, my fiancée.”

Echo’s eyes widened briefly before a big smile broke out on her lips and she started to move forward towards them. “Clarke! Nyko already told me about you. It’s great to finally meet you.”

Clarke accepted the hand offered by Echo, shaking it as she softly smiled at the brunette. There was something about the other woman that made her feel at ease. That itself should make Clarke suspicious. In her line of work she was used to people only being overly nice if they wanted something. Though once again Clarke reminded herself that she wasn’t on a mission and Echo certainly didn’t want anything from her but to have a nice time celebrating with them.

“I err…, I have something for you.” Clarke began, lifting the package up. “It’s not much. It was a bit short notice and I couldn’t find anything suiting in the shops.”

“Please, you didn’t have to get us anything.” Echo reassured her.

“Not that we don’t appreciate your present of course.” Nyko quickly added as he winked playfully at her, earning a harmless slap on his chest from Echo.

Clarke handed the wrapped picture to Echo who smiled at her as Nyko once again put his arm around her shoulders and let her further into the house. “Now come on. There’s a champagne glass screaming for your attention.”

There weren’t as much people in the living room as Clarke had initially assumed. The blonde estimated roughly ten people in the room which, given the small space of the living room, seemed more than it actually was. Nyko handed her a glass of champagne and the three of them clinked their classes.

The conversation was a bit sluggish but Clarke used the chance to get to know a little bit more about Echo. So far Echo looked like the perfect match for Nyko. She was really nice and attentive, she had the same sense of humor like Nyko did and from what Clarke could tell they shared the same goals for the future. But there were also the little things. Hands brushing against each other now and then, soft glances at the other one and dreamy smiles while they hung at each other’s lips, absorbing every little word coming from them.

They were truly in love.

Around half an hour later Clarke found herself alone as Echo had been pulled into a conversation with two other people and Nyko had to see who was at the door. She still felt uncomfortable but she tried to ignore the feeling, laughed when appropriate and smiled when people made pictures of the soon-to-be husband and wife. Perhaps she will be able to be a normal human being tonight who didn’t have quite the past that she had. After all, no one but Nyko knew her. She could be whoever she wanted to be.

“Clarke?”

_Or not._

Blue eyes widened a fraction as the blonde turned around to face the person belonging to this voice, a voice she kind of started to like – not that she would admit this fact to anyone, not even to herself.

“Lexa?”

Her boss was just as flabbergasted as she was and honestly, Clarke had expected anyone but Commander Lexa Woods to stand in Nyko’s living room holding delicately a glass of champagne in her hands.

“Oh, you know each other?” Nyko seemed just as confused as they were while standing next to Lexa.

“We’re working together.”

“Really?”

Clarke nodded still trying to find the connections between Lexa and Nyko. “Yes, we are. She’s my boss.”

“Oh, well,” Nyko chuckled amused at the sudden turn of the events. “Life’s full of surprises, huh?”

“And you two know each other how exactly?” Clarke asked, beating Lexa to the question as she looked like she was about to ask the exact same thing. She watched how the brunette closed her mouth again, now patiently waiting for her turn to ask for the connection and Clarke couldn’t help but smirk at the ever put-together Commander. Lexa however seemed to notice that and just rolled her eyes and Clarke’s smirk immediately grew bigger.

It hadn’t happened often since they hadn’t spent much time together, but Clarke _really_ liked to push the other woman’s buttons.

“That’s easy. Little Lexie here is my niece.” Nyko explained and squeezed Lexa as tight as any overly-annoying uncle would his niece.

“ _Little Lexie_ , hmm?” It shouldn’t be physically possible for her smirk to grow even bigger as it already was. They could have been in the front line of a heavy metal concert with thousands of people screaming all around them and Clarke was pretty sure she’d still be able to hear the heavily irritated sigh coming from the brunette.

The fact was _Lexie_ was a name Clarke had often heard back before all this shit had happened and she had been still innocently followed Nyko through the hospital halls. Back then Nyko often had told Clarke about his little wild niece, had told her about all the trouble she was getting herself into more often than not and all the grieve she was giving her parents. Nyko had had always a smile on his lips while talking about _Lexie_ and had always been convinced that – should they ever meet – would get along very well.

Well, Clarke was sure that neither of them really thought that they would actually meet each other.

There surely were strange happenings in life.

“You may call me Lex _a_.”

“I don’t know, I like Lex _ie_. It’s kinda cute.”

“Of course you do.” Lexa sighed and then narrowed her eyes at her uncle. “Thanks, Uncle Nyko.”

Nyko smiled, not the least bit frightened by the look Lexa was giving him. “You’re welcome.”

“Now, I’m curious how you two know each other.”

Nyko glanced over at the blonde and Clarke just shrugged. She trusted Nyko not to say anything that she didn’t want other people to know and the thought about Lexa knowing of her connection to her uncle didn’t bother her much. Oddly Clarke began to not feel so guarded around the brunette.

A fact she probably had to analyze in the near future.

“I know this one since she had been a little girl. Her mother and I work at the same hospital. Clarke here has always followed behind me with her little stethoscope hanging around her neck like she belonged to us other minions.” Nyko laughed thinking back to the time he had been a resident. The little blonde girl had been at the hospital often enough that the staff hadn’t been surprised to see the girl roaming through the halls. Nyko had always found Clarke’s curiosity and view of some of the things going on at the hospital refreshing.

Green eyes flickered over to the blonde, amusement clearly visible in them and Clarke had no doubts that the woman was currently imagining her as a little girl, probably with pigtails, dressed as a mini-doctor. “Really? Did she even wear a cute little white coat?” _Oh, payback was a bitch!_

Nyko carefully glanced over to Clarke to see if it was safe to continue getting a rise out of those two women, though as his eyes came upon Clarke blue eyes were already glaring at him and he knew that she was daring him to continue on his own risk. However, he also knew her well enough to know that she’d never harm him.

“Not at first,” He began and almost laughed as he heard a groan coming from her. “But after seeing that she won’t stop I’ll got her one for her birthday.”

Lexa laughed out loud.

An honest and open one.

Not because of the sudden picture of a younger Clarke dressed as a doctor in the midst of real doctors, well, not _just_ because of that. But because of the sight in front of her.

Clarke literally looked like a mix of a drowned cat and someone who ate too many lemons.

“Thanks, Nyko. That’s exactly the thing my boss should know about me.” _Well, better this than the wanted assassin part, right?_

Luckily Nyko was called over by Echo, saving him from facing the wrath of the two women. Two pairs of eyes observed Nyko’s interaction with Echo and his friends, already deep into some conversation the two females couldn’t hear.

After a beat Lexa glanced at Clarke and chuckled, shaking her head as the blonde stared confused at her. “Out of all people in the world it is _you_ I find at my uncle’s engagement party.”

And yeah, well what could she reply to that? The chances were pretty low and still, they were here, both of them. For the briefest of moments Clarke thought about the possibility of meeting Lexa Woods earlier in her life. Would they have still met if things hadn’t led Clarke on the path she had walked on for years? Would they have become friends in another life?

Clarke guessed she’ll never know as there was only this reality and all that had happened in her life led her up to this moment. There were no _if_ ’s and _maybe_ ’s. There was only the _here_ and _now_.

And _here_ and _now_ , green eyes were still staring at her disbelievingly.

“We got a case, by the way.”

“We did?” The blonde asked and was surprised at the sudden turn of their conversation. Somehow Clarke hadn’t thought about the possibility of getting a case. Up until know it was almost surreal that these bunch of people she was sharing the building with were destined to work together and solve complicated cases.

“Yeah. You would know this already if you had been present this afternoon.” Came the quip from Lexa. She just couldn’t help it.

“I was searching for a present for Nyko and Echo.” That was the truth. She _did_ search for a present. She _did_ spend most of the time of the day working on the picture far away from the apartment building slash work base. Though Clarke felt like she should make some effort, some sign of goodwill. “ _Sorry_.”

If Lexa was surprised of the little apology she didn’t let it show. “You couldn’t have known. Although you should keep in mind that we now have a case to solve. No more disappearing acts from this moment on, alright?”

“Sure.” She wouldn’t have to now that they had a case. Finally something to do and the others would concentrate on the case instead of getting to know her better.

“Some cake?” That sounded strangely like a peace offering from Lexa’s side and coupled with Clarke’s apology and promise to improve her behavior for their new case it was clear that they forged a truce right here right now, at Nyko’s engagement party.

It shouldn’t surprise the blonde that it happened right at the most peaceful man’s home.

“There’s cake?” Clarke asked haven’t seen anything looking close to some resemblance of a cake.

“Aren’t you the one of us having arrived first?”

Clarke just shrugged, a tuck at her lips. She kinda liked the playful banter. “I can’t help it that your uncle doesn’t have any manners.”

“True. I’m deeply disappointed in him and as his niece I would like to apologize in the name of my family member. I promise improvements in the future. In the meantime may I get you a piece of the very delicious looking chocolate cake currently hidden away openly on the kitchen counter?”

“You may.” The blonde smiled and dipped her head slightly in thanks.

Blue eyes observed the precise yet graceful movements of the brunette as she made her way to the kitchen to fetch them some cake. Clarke felt almost a bit lighter at the prospect of Lexa’s company for the party. An unexpected but welcomed change of the evening.

She would have never thought that Lexa would cause this effect on her, even less this soon after having first met the woman.

Maybe this new start was one of the better decisions she had made in a long, long time. With Lexa and even the others of the team she could be a complete different person. Perhaps she could shed the darkness and enjoy once again a life in the light?

Clarke frowned as she then thought of all the things she did and realized once again that a life in the light wasn’t meant for her. She didn’t _deserve_ peace. The blonde was surrounded by darkness and her touch was toxic tainting everything she came too close to. Maybe it all had been a mistake?

While she was an assassin the others were all the ones fighting against people like her.

She was literally the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The others would never accept her if they knew.

The blonde looked up deep in thought as she noticed Nyko coming back from the hall, probably welcoming another guest that had been running late for the party. His eyes however were wide and panicked, his face looking apologetically as he met his gaze. There was something in his stance and expression that made her instantly tense up and she knew that whatever was about to happen in the next few seconds she won’t like it.

Like it was her second skin she slipped back into old habits letting herself be drowned in the midst of Nyko’s guests, closing the distance to the door to the balcony. She knew it was the right move as she glanced one more time at Nyko and saw his shoulder’s drop, looking disappointed and relieved at the same time. He turned his head back to the hall and sent a smile to whoever it was that had arrived but Clarke didn’t wait any longer to see the person entering her field of vision. She already had an inkling who it may be.

And once again Clarke disappeared into the darkness away from the light, feeling like she’ll always be the one standing outside looking in.

The last thing she saw was Lexa, shone upon by the bright lights inside as she walked back to the place they had been conversing together, two plates of cake in the hand.

* * *

Bellamy was angry.

….No, scratched that.

Bellamy was _furious_.

He had been working his ass off trying to find this sniper, went after every little trace there was. He had been barely home, instead he had caught a few hours of sleep at the precinct after taking closer looks at the crime scenes, inspecting evidence again and again, reviewing surveillance feeds, looking closer into the lives of the victims and questioning possible witnesses.

Only for some new hot-shot Special Unit created by the Governor himself to swoop in and snatch the case from him!

Bellamy had had a hard time keeping himself from exploding while he had been in his captain’s office. When his captain had called for him Bellamy had expected that the man wanted to get updated on the case, only to get ordered to stand down, pack everything up and hand all things over to the Polis Special Crime Unit.

He had never liked those special titles much, even hated the fact that his very sister had decided to join the CIA. His relieve had been short-lived when Octavia had told him that she was leaving the CIA to come back to live in Polis only to end the statement with her proclamation that she’d join the Special Crime Unit.

His sister had always searched for the danger and he probably should be happy that she was at least close-by again should anything ever happen.

Though that didn’t mean he was happy about the PSCU to interfere with the work of the PPD. He was certain there will be a fair share of discussions and disagreements with his sister in the future.

Not feeling in the mood of playing nice with the newbies the curly haired detective stood off from his chair and grabbed the coat hanging from the back of it, slipping into it while moving away from his desk and drawing the curious glance of one of the officers nearby.

“Aren’t PSCU coming soon to pick up the files and evidence from the sniper case?”

Bellamy scoffed at that. Of course the whole precinct already knew about this. It was almost hilarious how much the precinct seemed to resemble an average high school at times. Too much gossiping. He just shrugged as he passed the officer. “Let them wait.”

He moved swiftly through the building towards the exit. Perhaps he was behaving a bit childish but he didn’t care about it in the least. It wasn’t like they did anything different than him. The only difference was that they had some cool and expensive equipment helping them.

The detective rushed through the halls and ignored anyone who dared to try and involve him in a conversation. Because of this damn case he hadn’t seen his family in quite some time and he just wanted to go home. He knew that a new case would already wait for him when he got back to work, just like a lecture from his captain. He was sure of it.

Stepping out into the sunny morning of a new day Bellamy jogged down the steps leading to his parked car when he suddenly stopped short.

Could it be?

Brown eyes flickered over his shoulder as he tried to get a closer look. Blonde hair flowed down onto the back of the woman he had just walked by. He hadn’t paid much attention to the people around him but he felt like he had seen her somewhere before.

Shaking his head he was about to turn around again when the woman turned her head to the side, allowing him to see more of her and then he knew.

It all came back to him in a flash. He hadn’t reacted because….. well, he never thought that he’d see her in person. She was a face midst many others.

Nameless and widely unknown by most of the citizen, but still actively searched by many authorities.

His right hand flew to his gun resting at his hip and in a beat he had drawn it and pointed it at the woman only five steps away from him. “Hey! Polis PD, stay where you are or you’ll have a few bullet holes in your pretty shirt.”

People surrounding them gasped and jumped a few steps away to get out of the immediate area, some officers stood at attention, not knowing how to react, some people were shouting at each other, but Bellamy didn’t notice any of it.

He felt like the world had gone completely silent as he stared directly into blue eyes sizing him up.

Then, chaos broke lose.

* * *

 


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Clarke came to a stop in front of the diner she was getting her breakfast from after her run. Her lungs burned slightly as she had pushed herself more this morning, running a few extra miles. She had wanted to lose the restlessness which had settled into her bones during the night.

Last night was the first night she didn’t dream of the hot African sun and the beatings she had endured. She didn’t dream of the people she had killed in so many different ways. Instead she dreamt of strangers staring at her as if they could see into her very soul. She was surrounded by people with accusations clearly visible on their faces as if they knew about every little thing she had done. The blonde had felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore, slowly but surely choking under the hot stares of the people. She had tried to break through the circle the strangers had formed but it had been futile.

There were just too many of them.

They had put her in the spotlight like they were about to judge her. Whenever she had tried to focus she was even able to discern familiar faces. Her parents, Nyko, Wells, hell even Thelonious. There weren’t a lot of people Clarke kept close to her, but they were the only ones opinion Clarke cared about, not caring that two of those were already dead. She had no troubles imagining their disappointment in her.

There wasn’t much after that. She had woken up, ran to the enclosed bathroom and threw up the little food she had eaten at Nyko’s. The dream hadn’t been as harsh as her usual ones, but the reaction afterwards certainly was.

A quick glance at the clock told her that she woke up roughly an hour earlier than usual, but the prospect of getting back to bed and closing her eyes again made her stomach churn uncomfortably again. Even if she didn’t want to fully admit it yet, Clarke knew that she was simply scared of going back to sleep again.

So she did the one thing she always ended up doing after a restless night, the blonde changed into other clothes and left for her run. She needed to feel the cold night air surrounding her and the freedom running gave her.

By the time she reached the diner she was able to push her dream to the back of her mind and feel like a decent human being again. Though the blue-eyed woman knew that it would only be so long until her mind would terrorize her again.

Entering the diner Clarke walked up to the counter and smiled at Meghan, ordering her usual. She could use a little pick-me-up to face the rest of the day.

“You left for your run earlier today.”

Surprised at the voice which was becoming more familiar each day, Clarke turned towards the direction the accusation came from and met unamused forest green eyes. There was a little tuck at the corner of her lips as she took in the sight in front of her.

There she sat.

Commander Lexa Woods.

The brunette was sitting comfortably on the red-cushioned bench that had clearly seen better days, her right hand clasped around a cup of coffee while her left arm laid on the back of the bench. There was only one reason for her to be here.

Lexa had been waiting for her.

“Woke up earlier and couldn’t get back to sleep.” Clarke shrugged as she moved over to her boss, taking a seat opposite of the brunette.

“Could have knocked. I don’t have any problems getting up earlier for a work-out.”

Clarke chuckled at that. “Why does that not surprise me, Commander?”

“I just like to keep myself in a good shape.” Lexa shrugged.

Clarke was about to reply, the words already heavy on her tongue as Meghan walked up to their table and set down a coffee to go and a carefully wrapped sandwich in front of Clarke. Confused the blonde glanced at the things before her eyes flickered to the waitress. “What is this? I didn’t order it.”

“No, but _she_ did.” Meghan laughed amused at Clarke’s confused expression before she motioned with her head to the other woman, giving the brunette a wink.

Clarke gasped loudly, left hand moving over her heart as she stared at Meghan while completely ignoring the pair of green eyes gazing smugly at her. The amused twinkle in Clarke’s eyes told the waitress that she wasn’t too angry about that. “And you listened to her? Traitor.”

“What can I say? The lady has quite the charm working for her.”

“Guess so.”

Finally blue eyes met the stare of green ones and for a beat none of them said a word. Well, Meghan didn’t dare to make a noise while the two women were clearly deep in another world. Smiling, the waitress silently retreated back behind the counter without disturbing the two.

“You owe me a breakfast.”

“You’re breakfast is in front of you.” Lexa nodded to the to-go coffee and sandwich on the table.

“But that’s not what I ordered.”

“Be happy with what you got.” The brunette exclaimed and stood up, her curls falling effortlessly over her shoulder. She looked good, well rested. Clarke had no idea when Lexa had arrived back at their shared building though it must have been early enough for the other woman to catch a good night’s sleep. Or maybe she belonged to those people who just always looked good, no matter what. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

Lexa waved at Meghan walking towards the door and only as long gentle fingers wrapped themselves on the door handle of the diner did Clarke move out of the booth herself, coffee and sandwich in her hands. Saluting with her coffee at Meghan as a thanks for the breakfast and to bid her farewell to the older woman, the blonde followed Lexa out of the diner only to come to a stop after five steps out on the pavement when she saw Lexa approaching a car parked at the curb.

“You drove here by car? Really?” Sure, their building quite a walk away from the diner, but she didn’t take Lexa to be one of those driving the car for this kind of distance.

“Yeah, well. We still have to pick up the case-related things before returning to base.”

Okay, that sounded more like the Commander she had made a picture of in her head. “And you just decided that I’ll come with you.”

“Take it as your punishment for disappearing again.” The brunette Commander replied as she got into the car, immediately followed by Clarke taking a seat on the passenger seat.

A loud scoff sounded through the still silent car, the loud rumble of the engine starting just a moment after the sound coming from the blonde. “I didn’t disappear. I went on my run. _Like every morning_.”

“Be a woman of your promises, Griffin.”

“Will you be using this every time you want something?”

“Well it works, right?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes watching Lexa drive through the early morning traffic of Polis. For a moment Clarke mused about her next reply but she kept her mouth shut, letting the Commander win this one. The blonde knew that the other woman knew just as well that this hadn’t been _her disappearing_. The atmosphere in the car was surprisingly just too comfortable at the moment so Clarke chose to let the conversation die out as she took a sip of her coffee, her gaze moving away from Lexa and settled on the passing buildings of Polis.

After a few minutes of this peaceful silence Lexa cleared her throat and brought the blonde back to the present. “Hey, you were gone all of the sudden yesterday evening. Was everything alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to tell me why you just disappeared like that?”

Okay, she’d rather have their playful banter back instead of this kind of topic Lexa was picking up. She didn’t know what to say to the brunette. She seemed like the kind of person who wasn’t satisfied with anything else than the truth. A lie would only let her off the hook for the time being. “I’m not a fan of crowds.”

“Really? It rather seemed that you were _avoiding someone_.”

Blue eyes snapped to Lexa at that. Had she been this obvious? Okay, she _did_ leave rather abrupt. She guessed it was the most natural reason for her disappearance. But Clarke couldn’t help herself erecting her walls again, all of the easy-going morning and banter long gone. However the brunette seemed just as well versed in pushing buttons as Clarke was.

Clarke took a deep breath controlling her annoyance as she ignored Lexa’s last statement. Of course there was a possibility that Lexa had met her mother last night and Clarke knew that the Commander wasn’t stupid and could put one and one together. Clarke Griffin fleeing the room the moment Abby Griffin showed up. Of course that wouldn’t miss Lexa’s attention.

The real question was, did Lexa say something to her mother about her? It wasn’t like Lexa knew anything about her and her life and could unknowingly hint at Abby that she knew her daughter. Clarke didn’t even feel furious at the brunette for the prospect of her telling her mother about her. Still, she worried about it because that would mean she had to face the woman that had raised her sooner than later. And the only one she could blame for that was herself.

_She_ was the one who had entered Nyko’s house.

_She_ was the one deciding to stay for a bit and celebrate with Nyko and Echo.

_She_ was the one at fault for letting her guard down.

_She_ was the _only_ reason for getting caught in this situation.

“I didn’t say anything to her about you.”

It was almost frightening how well the brunette seemed to read her. How did that happen? They hadn’t known each other long enough that would explain why Clarke felt like an open book in front of Lexa, despite knowing of the brunette’s struggle with getting some information about Clarke.

“Okay, I get it. We both know Nyko. You’re his niece and we celebrated his engagement together. That doesn’t make us like besties. We don’t spill each other’s secrets.” Clarke instantly felt bad for snapping at Lexa. She had thought she could control her anger and irritation that flamed up inside of her the moment she felt like losing control of the current things.

She knew that the brunette was just trying to put together all the puzzle pieces to fully understand the picture of Clarke Griffin, but the blonde didn’t know how to communicate to Lexa that there were some pieces she wouldn’t get – maybe ever. She was in this for the job, not for socializing and finding friends.

But as much as she felt bad for snapping, she also couldn’t bring herself to apologize for her tone. Mainly because it seemed to have the desired effect of shutting off the topic altogether as Lexa didn’t reply and just kept on driving silently to wherever it was they had to pick those things up.

However while the silence before had been comfortable, now it was just crushing. The coffee in her hand suddenly tasted sour and the sandwich certainly didn’t look appealing anymore. Thankfully it wasn’t much longer until Lexa parked the car and got out of the car wordlessly.

Clarke didn’t wait following Lexa’s example and got out of the car with its stifling air, relieving breathing in the fresh air. She quickly skipped over to a garbage bin close to where they had parked knowing that she won’t finish her coffee and sandwich and turned around to take in her surroundings.

There was a little park on the other side of the street people were currently jogging through. A few big buildings that looked rather like official government buildings than anything else made up the rest of the street. The blonde tensed up at that, knowing full well that her close proximity to government buildings might not end well.

“Are you coming?” There was a slight edge in Lexa’s voice the underlying annoyance for Clarke easily audible, letting the blonde know that the other woman’s mood was just as miserable as her own.

Clarke sighed knowing that her reply will do nothing but increase Lexa’s annoyance. “Why don’t you pick up the things we need and I’ll just wait here at the car. You did park at a no-parking zone after all.” The blonde pointed at a sign over her shoulder hoping it would give her the much needed excuse.

Lexa’s shoulder dropped, green eyes staring deadpanned at her _and boy_ did her reply spurred on the woman’s annoyance. If Clarke wasn’t used to mind games and dealing with alpha male behavior due to her life as an assassin she might have shrunken down in front of Lexa. “You’re not seriously going to let me carry all those boxes by myself, are you? I only dragged your ass with me to help me carry them!”

“Wouldn’t it have been more advantageous to take one of those hunks we have on the team with you?” They were both bad at knowing when to stop pushing each other’s buttons.

_“Hey! Polis PD, stay where you are or you’ll have a few bullet holes in your pretty shirt.”_

Okay, there was surely a teenager behind her who was stupid enough to pick a pocket in front of a cop….

But as Clarke observed Lexa’s eyes flickering past her and widening slightly the blonde knew.

In this moment she knew that this just wasn’t her day.

Turning slowly around while calming down her beating heart she could easily discern the person who had called out and of course the gun was pointed directly at her. Out from the corner of her eyes she noticed people taking some steps away from the scene, probably afraid to end up in the line of fire.

Clarke fought against her natural instinct of reaching for her own weapon, cursing herself for opting to just take two daggers with her instead of her gun. Though she knew the moment she would reach for her weapon the guy would pull the trigger – likely more than once and Clarke certainly wasn’t in the mood to die today, on a random pavement in Polis.

So she just stayed there staring emotionlessly into the eyes of the man still pointing his damn gun at her, waiting for further instructions. She could see it in his eyes, he dared her to move so that he could pull the trigger but she will not play his games.

Suddenly Clarke felt a presence at her side and after a beat she tore her eyes away from the current threat to see Lexa taking her place directly next to her, having her own gun drawn out and pointed directly back at the man in front of them.

There was a strange feeling spreading at the bottom of her stomach and her heart fluttered slightly, though Clarke couldn’t tell if it was because of the threat or if it was that for the first time in her life there was someone having her back. Just moments ago Clarke had been sure that Lexa was about to draw her gun on _her_ , now she was pointing it at an unknown man glaring dagger’s at him.

It showed her that despite the annoyance and mysteriousness the brunette considered her a fix part of her team, enough to feel the need to protect her.

And even while Clarke felt like her world was going to explode around her, the warmness that came with the fact that there was someone out there in this world who felt the need to protect her was worth it.

Whatever might happen next, Lexa had gained her loyalty without her knowing it.

“PSCU! I suggests you to drop your gun, Sir!” Lexa yelled and the few officers around finally caught up to the situation and drew their own weapons, now pointing at Clarke and Lexa. “

But the man obviously ignored Lexa as his eyes remained on the blonde who still hadn’t moved a muscle to protect herself. “Hands where I can see them!”

Huffing angrily Clarke did what was asked and slowly raised her hands above her head, never once taking her eyes from the man in front of her who now started to close the distance between them without lowering his gun one bit.

“What’s going on here?” Lexa asked as soon as the man was close enough to them.

There was a quick side-glance at the surrounding people to make sure that some still kept their guns pointed at the women before he put his gun away and reached for the cuffs. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court.”

“Don’t you dare put those cuffs on my Agent!” The brunette interrupted him, but once again he ignored her as he clasped the first cuff on the hand closest to him as he kept on reciting Clarke her rights.

Finally Lexa also put her gun away, she quickly intercepted his hands and deterred him from putting Clarke’s other hand in cuffs, too. Only then did he take his eyes off of the blonde and took in the other woman next to her. “Okay, stop right there! What’s the meaning of this?”

“She’s a killer who finally gets what she deserves.”

Clarke felt like she had the biggest clump in the world in her throat as she chanced a look at her boss though the brunette kept a straight face, not even betraying her thoughts for one second. But she could clearly recognize all the wheels in the brunette’s head that now worked quickly through the new information.

“I don’t care what she did in the past. She’s working for my team now. If you’re going to arrest her, I swear to you that the both of us will have some serious problems with each other. And believe me, you don’t want to get in trouble with me.”

“People had been searching for her for _years_.” The man began, shaking roughly Lexa’s hand off of his arm and putting on the second cuff on Clarke’s other hand before looking back at Lexa. “I’m not afraid of you and any of your threats.”

The curly haired man pushed Clarke towards the steps but Lexa once again intercepted, this time grabbing Clarke’s shoulder to get her attention. Blue eyes glanced into the green ones now staring up to her. There was suddenly a calmness in them which pulled Clarke in.

“Sit tight, Griffin. I’ll get you out of there, okay?”

It was more like a statement than a question, telling Clarke that there was no other possibility than for Lexa to get her out again. At least there was no other possibility in her mind. The determination in her forest eyes told her that.

Before the blonde woman could reply something the man pulled her further up the stairs, not once giving her the chance to reply to Lexa. Just before she entered the building Clarke turned around one last time and saw Lexa still at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes remaining on her figure while she had already her cell on her hand.

When the door closed and Lexa was gone from her sight, Clarke should have felt defeated. She should have felt the tiredness in her bones, the scratching and the heaviness of the cuffs weighting down her hands, the bruising grasp of the man on her arm and the various glances on her.

Instead she felt something else.

_Hope._

Because for the first time in _so long_ she actually put her trust in someone else.

And oddly, the only thing she knew that everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm still in shock actually, but I wish Eliza and Bob all the happiness in the world!

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly? I have enough ideas for this to make a series out of it, but that's waaay into the future. It will be mostly told from Clarke's view, but there will be others, too.


End file.
